Monday, May 3, 2010

A child's tears.

Tonight, R gave me a lesson on how strong influence can be.

We thought that we would be having company over and R would be able to play with some of her friends from church. Due to the storm, that never happened and R was totally devastated. Usually, if something doesn't happen the way she wants it to, she may get a upset for a little while but then she goes right on to something else. Tonight was different. Tonight, she broke down and cried hard (to the point of physically shaking). She hasn't had a good, hard cry in a while and it's like to you "see" the wheels in her mind spinning a mile a minute. It's like waiting for Old Faithful to go blow.

She had become rather quiet the last couple of days and I would ask her questions but she didn't really talk a whole lot. Whenever we have Grief Works group, it generally gets her thinking and then it's a matter of time before she finally has to let everything out. Tonight, it did and I think she feels better about herself and about everything else. Doesn't mean that she has to like it but that it's ok to be upset and to cry and to get everything that you've been thinking outside.

I've learned over the past year and a half that children may be resilient but they also internalize everything that they see and hear without giving much feedback on what they think. Initially, she was upset that plans didn't go the way she wanted them to but ultimately, it was her concern for Daddy. Was he ok? Did he have plenty to eat? He's been gone for a long, long time. When is he coming back? This question just about sunk me but I also had to be honest and upfront with her. Daddy is never coming back and the only way we can see him is if we go to heaven or if Jesus comes back first. R's response was, "I want to go to heaven!" Again, I had to point out that if she did, she wouldn't be alive anymore. She didn't like that idea but she also didn't like the idea of having to wait. Then it was off to bed and good ol' Winnie the Pooh to the rescue! She's had a fabric book of Winnie the Pooh since she was a baby and she sleeps with it now.

Today, we ended it with giggles and smiles but had an emotional storm to go through first. Much like the physical storms that we have to face, there is always God's rainbow at the end and it makes everything all right.

More to follow......

No comments:

Post a Comment