Thursday, May 20, 2010

15 Months and Counting

Early tomorrow morning, it will be 15 months since Donovan's passing and yes, I'm a little heavy-hearted at the moment. This is (thankfully) not the same as it was this time last year though.

Still, it hurts and there are still some things that I just can't do yet. The room that he had the accident in still has papers and other odd things covering up the floor so that I won't see the emptiness of where I found him on the floor. I still haven't watched a movie in my room (partly because I'm worn out by the time I get to bed and partly because it still feels a little weird to me). Once it gets dark out, the back room (where he usually was playing his records) has to have a light on and I can't bring myself to turn all the lights in the house off at night.

I am moving forward though and making small changes that have a positive effect on me as well as R and thankful that J is blissfully unaware of things yet. I know that one day, he will have some tough questions so I pray that I'll have the right answers for him when that time comes. R has come a very long way since reality hit her and she enjoys going to neurotherapy. She knows that it is helping her get things that she can't verbalize yet out of her head so that she can heal. I also know that we (as a family) would not have made it this far without God and His church (and especially prayers).

Yes, it's been a roller-coaster ride but each peak in the ride brings us closer both to God and to peace.

More to follow......

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