Thursday, January 20, 2011

Book thoughts

A good friend of mine on FB suggested that I read "Eat, Pray, Love". I finally (after a couple of months or so) finished the book and while I enjoyed reading it (and especially her honesty), I know I will probably never watch the movie (no offense Julia Roberts) largely because of the language (which is something that I can't tolerate very well).

I did however highlight things that she said that really hit home for me. In many ways, I could totally relate to the writer. So, I will be doing some writing about that as time goes on...

More to follow.....

Friday, January 14, 2011

Hope in grief

Last night, I met with a small group at Grief Works which is sponsored by several Churches of Christ in the DFW area. The group is under the umbrella of Christian Works and is geared mainly for children (ages 5 and up) and their caregivers. Grief Works helps families that have expeinced the loss of a family memeber and last night, we had 4 new families to join us.

We started off as we typically do (which is to introduce ourselves and tell *if you want to* what brought them to the group). Then, we brought up a question that, in all actuality we all need to think about. Where do you see yourself 10 years from now and what goals do you have in place (or are thinking about) to get there?

Most (if not all of the women there) had a hard time focusing in on that question because grief (in all it's stages) can be a HUGE block in looking to the future. Especially if the loss of a spouse happened within the last couple of months or so. So, I changed it to 5 months from now and then down to a simple goal for next week. Of just simply getting through one hour (or at times 5 minutes) at a time.

A loss or any sudden change can be crippling but each individual has a choice of wether to take things one step at a time or stay put and slowly sink. The christian life is much the same way, there is no standing still and hoping that you make it. It takes guts, courage, and (at times) can be downright painful but the ultimate goal is worth every step. Just like Jesus had to take Calvery one step at a time (and He KNEW what was going to happen).

Each of us have challenges that may seem small (or big) to others but we all have a goal (whatever that may be) and to each that goal... takes steps, faith, and hope.

Onwards and upwards!

More to follow.....

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Status change

Those of you that are my friends on Facebook may have noticed (or not) that my relationship status has changed (as of the first day of 2011!).

For the last several months, I had debated with myself weather to do this or not and here's the reason why.

Being a widow is painful in and of itself but, it doesn't define a person. The experience of having to go through that is downright heartbreaking (been there, done that!) but you do survive, work through it with God's help and lots of prayers from people who are sometimes closer to you than physical family.

Eventually, you finally get through the end of the grief tunnel and are much stronger (in more ways than one) than when you began. Granted, there are (I'm sure) some bridges that I haven't had to cross yet because it's all new territory for me (just like anybody else) and having a 7 yr old and a soon-to-be two year old is going to have challenges of their own... At least with R, she knows that she can ask any questions and I'll try to answer as honestly (and as basic) as I can for her to understand. J will have his own set of questions that will be different (in some ways) from R but, I'm going to cross that bridge when I get to it...

Anywho, I changed my relationship status to single for a simple reason. Being a widow has made me who I am today but it doesn't define who I am. Going through life can be a challenge but it's how you view things that will determine what the end affect is going to be for the future. Granted, there are things that no one can change but, 5 or 10 or however many years down the road, ask yourself if you would rather be still at the same spot or much further and better than you were before? Would you rather still be in quicksand or out? Sadly, most people don't even realize that they are in quicksand until they find themselves in a point-of-no-return but, as long as God continues to bless us with the air we breath, that point can always change.

My prayer for everyone that I know (or even don't know yet) is that this new year will be one that you will be proud of and be able to thank God for the blessings that we receive on a (sometimes unknown) daily basis.

I also want to say a big thank you (and hugs) to all of you who have been there for support, encouragement, prayers, strength and the ability to smile though the last year (or actually two years). May God continue to bless you as He has blessed me...

Onwards and upwards!

More to follow....


About a week before Christmas, I discovered something that I hadn't done in a long, long time.... I was getting giddy for Christmas! :)

For the last two years, Christmas eve and the actual day had been very, very difficult get through but this year was totally different. I wanted to try and decorate every room in the house with something christmasy (if that's such a word). But, I would have probably gone broke financially if I had carried out my wish so, I did the basics... Christmas tree, lights outside, garland over the fireplace and stockings up, and a little bit in the kitchen.

The only hesitation that I had was going over to K and G's Christmas eve (when the kids would unwrap Christmas presents). Needless to say, that was just as enjoyable. K and G were kinda quiet but they weren't wiping tears from their eyes either (huge blessing!).

Christmas day was even better with the introduction to a new friend and being around (and hearing from) old ones that have always been there for me and the kids. The only slight downside was being over at K and G's house for lunch and watching K wipe a tear away while he was watching J play with some toys.

In a way, I guess that's to be expected and it may take a while for them (if they decided to) get completely through the pain of loss. Everyone moves through those times in a different way and at different speeds. But as long as there's progress, there's always hope.

My prayer is that you and your family were able to enjoy the holiday as much as we did.

More to follow.....