Monday, June 27, 2011

Another loss

This last Sunday afternoon, I got a phone call from K and G. They told me that Everett (Donovan's grandfather, Ken's dad) passed away in his sleep. He would have been turning 98 on July 10th.

Everett had had episodes before of falls/mentally unstable before and had always rebounded rather quickly. On the 19th, K had gotten a call from his sister that Everett had fallen but also had some blockage in his intestines which made the mental problems more pronounced. That Sunday night, K had kinda pulled me aside at church to see what I thought. He also told me that Everett had asked for him (Ken) *major red flag* but, the family went ahead with the plan to wait until Everett's b-day (when everyone was planing to go and see him anyway). The funeral will be tomorrow....

Sometimes, older folks will have some time (or moments) of crystal clarity in their thinking and make request. Case in point, when I was living in Knoxville, TN., I had the honor of working on a locked unit of a Geri/Psych ward. I wore many hats on that floor and one of them was for Social Worker Assistant and I did one-on-one time with patients who didn't go to group that day. It was kinda late in the day and I went to see a dear, sweet lady and see what she was thinking about. She looked at me with such clear eyes (not a dazed or confused or blank look) and asked me "Am I going to be getting any better?" I told her that she would probably be released to go back home either tomorrow or the next day. It all depended on how she did and what the Dr thought. She seemed happy about that and then got really sad and asked me "But I'm not going to be getting COMPLETELY better, am I?" All I could do was smile, give her little shoulder a rub and say "We'll see". She died in her sleep that night. Needless to say, the whole staff was shaken the next day.

Too many times, the older generation that lived through war, the depression, etc get overlooked and written off. Many times, all they want is compassion, empathy, and a little time to share their memories and knowledge. If you have grandparents/ parents who are suffering from any kind of mental/emotionally problems, please give them that little bit of time that they want and deserve because you may not have that time tomorrow.

More to follow....

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Another suprise

This last Sunday night, I got a pleasant surprise.

For the first time in 7 years, R got to spend the night with K and G! Over the last couple of years especially, R and I both have asked them if R could spend the night at the grandparents but were always given some sort of excuse. Needless to say, R was ecstatic!

It was a little weird not having her at home (even though she has spent the night at several friend's houses' the last few years) but, I was happy she finally got a chance. What's sad is the lost amount of time to get to this point with K and G! I guess it took a BIG wake up call for them to finally quite giving excuses and take advantage of the time that they have!

So, those of you who are grandparents (or have family members with children), please don't pass up amazing memories with children before it's almost too late!

More to follow....

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Another status change

Over the past month or so, I had a friendship that took things to a whole
different level for me, R and J. All thanks to EHarmony. This last Wed.,
he decided to take things up a notch by making our relationship public on

I had vaguely known Jeff back at Freed. He was graduating the year I
started at Freed as a Sophomore and was in the "rival chorus" on campus
(HUGE note of sarcasm here).

I had been a member of EHarmony since Jan of this year and had "talked" to a
few guys (after we went through the questionnaire thing). Jeff didn't even
bother with that stuff once he discovered that we both went to Freed
*thinking It's a small world theme song* and started off with a question to
verify that I had been there. Admittedly, I had to look him up in the year
book.... We discovered that we had a lot more similar interest that just
that we had been at the same college. He is into Jail/Prison ministry and
wants to do that full time (once he gets congregations to support him), he's
in a singing group and has about 30 or so concerts each year, and he works
full time for a company that refurbishes tractor trailers.

The kicker for me was an email that he sent which included these words...
"If I come down to see you" (and yes, he lives in Searcy). Just a side
note but, have you ever really understood how power a single word can be?
Just sayin'... :) Anywho, my only response was that one little powerful
word but with a question mark... "If??"
Needless to say, he has driven 5.5 hours down here to see me for the last 3
weekends and some of you got to see him (abet a bit briefly) this morning
before he had to head back to Searcy to preach at the Jail tonight.

More to follow....

Monday, June 6, 2011

Another hurdle

Another hurdle has been cleared as of this last Saturday and no, this wasn't one that I had to clear.

Over the last two years, K and G didn't go on the Back to the Bible Campaign which is conducted by the Northwest congregation in Lawton, Ok. In '09, it was conducted in Lawton and I took the kids and went door knocking with everyone. Emotionally, it was very difficult. Not just for me but also for the people at Northwest.

K and G lived there for several years while Donovan was about Rebecca's age. So it was difficult for the Northwest folks as it had been for me. This year, the campaign is being done at Amarillo, Tx and K and G decided to go but it wasn't an easy decision. As K put it, "If G doesn't go this year, she probably won't ever go again". They're tie with Northwest is strong in that they had gone every year since Northwest started doing campaigns so, yes... This was HUGE for them.

They called me Saturday night (or rather G did) and she sounded a little tearful but happy at the same time. I was really close to going as well but, it was a HUGE blessing for me that I didn't... :)

More to follow....