Thursday, June 10, 2010

A rough/ awkward moment

This morning, I called G to see if she could take care of J on Monday while R had a neurotherapy session. She reminded me that K's birthday was coming up and was asking me if I had any ideas of what to get for him.

One of the comments she said was "You know how hard it is to shop for a man." I actually didn't have anything to say at first. I wasn't sure if I should have said something like: Yes, I used to or nothing at all. In the end, I just lamely said Yup but after getting off the phone with her, I felt my heart just sink a little. That remark hurt... but, I can't just sit around and cry "woe is me!" and I don't have time to pine away either. There's too much life to live and too much fun to have with my little one's to crawl in a corner somewhere and say "forget it!"

It also makes me very aware of where G is emotionally. She's just now (barely) facing the fact that Donovan's not here anymore.

Yesterday, R and I went to Sylvan Learning Center to see if I could help her be ready for next school year. On the way back, we passed by the nursing home that Margie is at and also a cemetery. R asked me if "That's where daddy's lives?" I told her that it was at a different one and asked her if she wanted to go see where he was buried. At first, she said yes but after a while of thinking, she told me that she didn't want to so, I said ok and let it go.

Later that day, I asked G if R had made any comments about the cemetery (because she had taken R to see Margie). G said that R had said something along the same lines as she asked me and I could hear the emotion in her voice. It's the same with K and what's so sad is that neither one of them want to do anything to get some help.

I've told them about the help that R and myself have/ are getting and they just nod their head and smile.

There is an old saying that my dad used to tell me. "People can be like concrete. Th roughly mixed up and firmly set." K and G are like that and it scares me a little because(as a social worker) I see the red flags and want to get that across to them without sounding harsh or disrespectful. That being said, if anyone has some ideas, please let me know.

I am thankful that the children are doing so well and blessed that I have a HUGE church family that I can lean on, talk to, etc when the physical family doesn't get it or doesn't want to.

More to follow.....

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