Tuesday, June 8, 2010

One more BIG hurtle crossed!

For the last week and half, I have been without my desktop and itching to type so, be expecting a lot (when time permits! ha!).

Yesterday was a HUGE accomplishment for me. I had Verizon out to change out the Internet, TV, and phone connection (thanks to a unnamed company(s) that had me going in circles during the past week and half.

The technician had to drill a hole for the router to be placed next to the computer (which is in the back room and the only place I can put a computer right now). It's also the same room that I found Donovan. When I realized that the tech needed to be getting in and out of there, I knew I also needed to clean up the floor space around the computer.

Up until yesterday, I simply could not handle the floor being bear because (in my mind) I would always see Donovan on the floor bleeding. The mental image had been almost unbearable to deal with but, with God's help, lots of prayers, and time the floor is still cleared of "stuff" and I haven't had a breakdown from it.

I've told several friends as well as family that R and I have come to the point that it's time to finally "close the book" so to speak. Time to let it all go, say the final good-bye and start fresh.

When my parents were here during Memorial day weekend, I told them that I kinda felt like I wanted to just get EVERYTHING in the house, put it in all in a big, huge pile, and lite a match to it. Of course, the city may have a word to say about that and I don't have the funds to just refurnish the house all at once so, little by little, we're taking things out and R is helping me do that.

A few days ago, she had some things of Donovan's and she asked me if she could throw them away (they were in his drawer in the back room). I asked her why she wanted to throw them away and her response was this: "It's old and we don't need it anymore". I couldn't have been more proud of her for saying that. Granted, she still has some things to work through but, she's getting there and we are all much stronger (because of God's grace and healing) than we were a year ago.

There's ALOT of stuff to do and it is slowly getting done... a step at a time.

More to follow.....

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