Friday, January 20, 2012

A new addition - in the works

As most of you have probably figured out by now, we are expecting! :) This came after a lot of prayers and thought from Jeff and I.

We initially planned on waiting about 3 months after we got married to try. We knew that there would be a lot of adjustments from all of us (and in some ways, we are still adjusting - smoothly tho). We also knew that we didn't want to wait too long either. After all, I'm 37 and we both didn't really want to have little ones still at home when we're in our 60's! :)

After we got married, we decided that we would just leave it all up to God and let things go on His timing. The first 2 months were tough because each month, I would have prego symptoms, get all excited and then get disappointed. So, in December, I had the prego symptoms early again but had to keep reminding myself not to get my hopes up too much but my cycle never started in Jan! Major excited and Jeff was excited but wanted us to get "confirmed" from a doctor before saying anything.

Finally got the "confirmation" this last Wed so, Jeff and I told our families (and the kids). R was sooo excited! She has already asked if it's going to be a girl and if she can get bunk beds when the baby is old enough for a big girls bed. LOL. J is clueless and could care less. My mom wasn't really surprised about the news (as was my dad). K and G seem to be happy about it and Jeff's family and friends are super excited.

Many won't understand what this means to me so, I'll try to put it this way. After J was born, I was so thankful to have him and still have a little bit of Donovan still (as I feel that I do with R as well). I also felt robbed. Robbed of hopes and dreams of our growing family. Donovan and I hadn't talked about having more than 2 seriously but three was a good number for me. When I got rid of all of R's and J's infant cloths, that feeling of loss hit hard. While friends at church were either starting their families, (or adding on) I was happy for them but not completely. I knew I'd never have that chance again (or at least that what I thought at the time.... I now know differently!). After Donovan had been gone for a little over 2 years, I had finally accepted the fact that I should be content with my two (which I was) and just make the best of it for them. Sometimes, if we just let God do things on His time rather than when WE think they should be, we just might get surprised. :)

Jeff and I had talked about having little ones while we were dating and we knew that even if we didn't have any children together, we would adopt. The 2nd time that I had experienced prego symptoms and then having that fall through, I started praying that (Lord willing) we would be able to adopt when the timing was right for Him. I made myself stop "trying on my own" and left it all to Him. Worry can be such a health hazard sometimes (if you let it). So, yes, I'm super excited about the upcoming journey (and all the changes THAT will entail) and well as what this means for our family as a whole.

More to follow.....

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