Sunday, May 8, 2011

Still tears

Today is generally supposed to be a joyful, happy day but this morning, it was every thing but that.

There's an old saying that goes something like this: Three strikes and your out. This morning, I got my three strikes and I was out emotionally speaking. First up, it's Mother's day and I wouldn't have been a mom to two great children if it weren't for Donovan. Second strike was that K and Donovan always served on the Lord's table at the same time. Today, K was up in front and sitting with the other men who were going to serve. Third strike was when the song leader lead everyone in a song that was sung at Donovan's funeral.

Needless to say, I didn't get through the song but had to walk out in tears. There were some good out of this tho. First was that both of my children were good to stay with G and not run out (even though it would have been very easy for them to do so). Second was that I had a good shoulder to cry into and ladies that understood. Lastly, the tears didn't hurt as much as they had in the past. It didn't make me go down on my knees but it still hurt and sobbing but it wasn't as bad this time.

I know that no one will be able to take Donovan's place and that there will always be a part of me that will never be the same but, with God's strength, time, and wonderful friends and family to lean on.... There's always going to be sunshine down the road that we call grief.

More to follow....

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