Tuesday, August 24, 2010


For the last week, R has started asking for a book every night. Just before bed. To most, this may seem as a small deal but for us, it's huge!

Before Donovan's death, we had a nightly ritual of hugs, tickles, prayers and books. Last year, she wanted nothing to do with books or reading in general and if I asked her if she was thankful for anything, I got a resounding no. This year, we still do the hugs, tickles (within moderation of course) but still not thankful for much but the list is slowly building. Now, she wants a book (or two) every night for which I am very thankful. She still gets angry from time to time but it's not very often and not as extreme. Now we just have to get through the start of a new school year (1st grade!) and all the fears that go along with that. Today, I saw that R wasn't the only one who went to class in tears.

K and G went to their last grief counseling session last week and seem to be much more calmer and happier. I asked them if they were going to continue to see a counselor and (of course) the answer was no so we'll have to see how things progress. At least they've started in the right direction and they have things to "study" at home as the need arises.

As for me, the biggest challenge I've had to deal with came from last night. It was about 10:30 or so and I saw some yellow flashing lights and people talking (which set the neighborhood dogs (including mine) barking like crazy. At that time, I kinda panicked and grabbed a golf club (just in case). I've had one friend of the family be brutally murdered 20 years ago and that came back to mind. Posted something about the flashing lights on fb and (thankfully) had two friends point out the obvious (probably either a water or electricity problem which can be fixed). After about 30 minutes, whoever it was left and all was peaceful again. Golf club back next to the back door and, after about 10 minutes, sleep! There are some things that I haven't been able to do yet (like turning off all the lights in the house when I go to sleep or turning extra one's on when I get spooked). I grin about all of this now and know I still have some work cut out for me but, Lord willing, this too shall pass and I'll be much better off for it.

More to follow......

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