The beginning

This is kinda hard for me to put into words but, for those of you who take the time to read this and have a better understanding of where me and my family are dealing with on a day-to-day basis, I have to start from the beginning. So, here goes!

On December 20, 2009, at about 11:00 PM, I had just called it a day and was asleep for about 30 minutes or so when I heard a very loud bang that sounded like it had come from the back yard. This did not make any sense to me since I didn't hear the dogs barking. I called out to my husband (of almost 7 years) and no response. He had told me that he was going to shut the computer down and and put his new "toy" up (he had just gone through a gun safety course and had gotten himself a hand gun) then come on to bed since we had finished up with getting everything ready for our daughter's 5th birthday (which was the next day) and it was a Saturday night (so had to get up early for worship the next day as well).
I called Donovan again and still no answer and I got to my feet as fast I could (given the fact that I was 7 1/2 months pregnant with our son at the time) and went to the room where the computer was. Donovan was laying on the floor and bleeding and not responding. Understandably, I panicked and screamed. Still no response from Donovan. I finally got my wits together and called 911 and waited until they arrived (which looked more like a ambush of people and cars). Then I called his parents (who lived 15 min. away from us) and just told them to come the house NOW.
I vaguely remember some things of what was being said but mostly it's a blur. I just remember throwing up a lot and shaking uncontrollably. I do remember an EMT coming and saying that they were going to take him to the hospital and that he was breathing on his own but not to hope too much for him to make it through the night. I also remember them asking me if there was anyone else in the house and I told them that our 4 yr old daughter was asleep. I then remember a very large (quarterback sized) police officer carrying our daughter in one arm and she was wrapped in a blanket and shaking like a leaf. Once he handed her to me, she started throwing up and then one of the female officers (rather stupidly if you ask me) Oh, is she sick? Well duh!
Then Donovan's parents came and his mom came up to the door (they wouldn't let her in) and I asked if she could get our daughter at least out of the house and they agreed. Downside is that they did not allow his parents to take her to their home but rather made them sit out in their car until they were completely done (which took about 3 or 4 hours). To this day, some of the things that they did do not make any sense to me and will (probably) forever be ingrained into my (and my daughter's) mind.
The rest is a blur. I just remember being torn between taking care of my daughter and wanting to be with Donovan and not being allowed to do either one. The next thing I remember is being driven over to his parents house and pacing the floor (once we got our daughter back in bed and sleep). Later, his mom told me that she saw all of the flashing lights and kept saying "Someone needs help". Donovan's parents went to Baylor of Dallas and Donovan went to see God at 4:30 am on December 21, 2009.