Thursday, February 6, 2014

Too young to worry.....

A few weeks ago, Jeff went to Mountain Home, AR to work on a new CD with the rest of the gang of First Day. He left Friday evening (after supper) and didn't get home until Monday evening (shortly after the kids had gone to bed). Before he left on Friday, R told him that "I hope nothing bad happens to you while you're gone". She also told him that she loved him (twice). She then told me the same thing after Jeff had left (I hope nothing bad happens to Daddy). She was encouraged both times that, if we had anything to do with it, Daddy would be back. R doesn't usually voice her worries unless something is really bothering her and she doesn't tell Jeff "I love you" very often (even tho she shows it every day - pretty much). It's times like these when I feel a little angry. I'm learning how death of a parent affects children and I don't like what I see sometimes. I feel angry at Donovan for leaving us soo soon and how it has effected the children so far. I feel angry that a 10 yr old is having to work thru fears that no 10 yr old should every had to deal with. Then, the old thorns of "Why me?" & "What if?" come trumpeting in and then I have to remind myself that this is all in God's hands and He can handle everything. There's no need for me to fret and worry about stuff that I don't have control over anyway. The best thing I can do (as does Jeff) is to be loving, supportive, listening, open, and honest. This lets her feel free to say what she thinks without (hopefully) fear of being judged or cause us to worry too much. R has come a long way in battling her own mental/emotional demons and I'm thankful that she has a bit of her old spark back and is able to develop her own sense of personality and being able to laugh and joke around with Jeff. I know that there will be some rough stuff to go through as the children get older but, with God's help (and taking things one day at a time), we'll get through it... :) More to follow...

1 comment:

  1. You are a good momma doing the very best that you can. God will give you the strength and wisdom you need. Hang in there.