I am a somewhat young mom of a *now* 15 year old daughter, a *now* 10 year old son, and a 6 yr old son. Our family's lives have changed dramatically over the last 10 years. From loosing my first husband (of almost 8 years) to giving birth to our son 2 months later, to finding (and marrying) the new love of my life. I am so blessed! This blog is my walk through the tragedy, the loss, the new chances, and new life for our whole family.
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Flashbacks
This last weekend, we made a trip to AL. This was a good trip overall but, the reason for the trip wasn't pleasant at all.
Jeff has a church family that (in all aspects) is family. They were there for him during the times that he needed family the most. He may have been the only peanut in the chocolate fudge but, as his "brother" put it, Jeff was his brother...from another mother. :) That being said, he keeps in contact with a lot of people via facebook. Unfortunately, he also found out that one of the sisters in the congregation was brutally murdered last week so, after making several phone calls, we made the decision to drive to AL to be with the church family there on Sunday.
This was not going to be an easy feat... Not only did it mean that Jeff and I were going to be pulling an all-nighter to get things packed up for the family to leave out at 2AM but also the emotional bomb that went off for both of us. The news of having a dear, sweet, God-fearing, always trusting sister to be taken advantage of and then murdered shook Jeff down to the core. It hurts when you see another in emotional pain.
It also brought back very vivid memories for me as well. Mental images I wish I could erase but knowing that will never happen. You see, EVERYTHING we experience with our senses (sight, taste, touch, smell, and hear) gets filed away in our memories (whether it's pleasant or not). When I initially thought about those individuals (whoever they were) who went to go check on their "sister" because they hadn't heard (or seen) her for a few days. Only to find a mess in her apartment, it made me sick to my stomach. It brought back the mental and emotional memories of the night that Donovan had his accident and I found him on the floor unconscious but still breathing. The memories of the police, EMS, and fire departments flooding the house and trying to help came flooding back like a ton of bricks. I cried.... hard. Thankfully, Jeff was there to hold and cry along with me as I was there to hold and cry along with him. Those tears were necessary and they had to flow. Emotions weren't meant to be bottled up. They are meant to be shared, understood, and let out. The more we try to stuff our emotions down and bottle it up, the more harm we do to ourselves (and possibly others). This doesn't mean that we can (or should) erupt like Mount St. Helens and just let our anger or bitterness fly as it may. Adults aren't suppose to act like three year olds. Ok... Sorry, soap box.. Ha! :)
Anywho, we made it to Southside Church of Christ (with kids in tow) with 15 minutes to spare (barely enough time for Jeff to just shut his eyes and relax for a few - he drove the whole way). The AM service is both edifying and uplifting. I now know why Jeff loves this congregation soo much.... In the midst of tragedy, they let their light for God shine and it is beautiful to see (and hear). We were blessed to be a part of that worship time. It was also good for Jeff to be able to sing with the guys once again. :)
The trip may have been emotionally rough but, I'm glad we were able to go and spend time with this family. Satan can (and will) try his hardest to pounce people down but God gave us His strength, His Word, and His body (the church) to overcome whatever Satan throws at us. Just got to keep going on in Him.
More to follow....
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