Every relationship has hurdles to get over and ours was no different. Initially, Jeff and I had agreed to maybe get married in October (which is now the date that our reception is *and everyone is welcome to as well*) but that all changed due to one of Jeff's "friends".
This "friend" was concerned for Jeff and he thought he was "saving" Jeff from (or even me) from rushing our relationship. The "friend" said some biting/attacking remarks to Jeff's roommate who then told Jeff. Needless to say, Jeff was furious and torn up about the whole thing. What hurt me (besides the fact that the "friend" attacked me and my family) the most was that it was tearing Jeff up and what hurt him, hurt me. You know how you don't get inbetween a momma bear and her cub. Well, anyone who messes with either one of us is bound to get retaliation from the other.
We knew we wanted a small, simple wedding and we also realized that it was getting more difficult for both of us to be apart when living in the same town (and literally down the road from each other). It was also a bit unsettling for the children because they were both asking where Jeff was every morning. So we decided to move the wedding up to Sept 10th and had a potluck dinner before the ceremony.
The "friend" was at the wedding and he tried to smooth things over with Jeff so all is well. Granted, he will talk to Jeff (or even the kids) at the church building but never say anything to me. But, that's ok. I don't have any hard feeling towards him and I know God will take care of everything in His time and in His own way. The important thing is that we are now a family and getting adjusted to that. In many ways, the "friend" helped us more than anything in that our love and appreciation for the other is even stronger than it was when we were dating. :)
I know that challenges will come up down the road but, I also know that our love and commitment to each other is strong and that our love for God and his will can get us through anything.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
The move!
The last solid posting that I have on here talked about getting a house for the children and I to move into here in Searcy. Now to fill in the gaps of that move.
There is a saying that a man will do whatever it takes to be with the woman he loves and Jeff proved that in just getting us here!
We managed to find a rental house to move into (and in a college town, that is NO easy feat!). I got the kids back to Garland late on Monday Aug.1st. Had two days to load up dishes and bedding before heading back up to Searcy on the 4th. Needless to say, all the traveling was starting to take a toll on R and J (especially J who doesn't travel very well). Got to hear Jeff and First Day sing in Mountain Home (which is a two hour drive from Searcy) on the 7th and then head back to TX and start boxing everything I could on the 8th - 14th.
Jeff drove down on the 13th to help box and then load the truck up (which was the biggest we could get and we still couldn't get everything in). The 13th ended up being a very, very long day for Jeff and I and we couldn't have gotten half of everything done without the help of K and G (who took the kids) and Steve and Jackie Meadows. Jeff finally closed the door on the truck at 3:30 AM on the 14th and we took some time to go over to K and G's house, Jeff got to shower and we both got something to eat. Both of the kids were also up (they may have cat-napped for a bit) at 4AM and then we headed out of TX and to our "new" home (at least for me, R, and J).
Jeff drove the truck ahead of me and I drove my car (kids in tow) and loaded down in the back for the 6 hr drive. I'm thankful neither one of the kids were very fussy but it was very difficult for me (and I'm sure for Jeff as well). It's one thing to pull an all-nighter when you're in college. It's something completely different when you are much older. I finally had to call Jeff and ask him to pull over somewhere before I either hit a guardrail or someone else in route. Jeff found a big empty parking lot and I took a 20 min. nap in the cab of the UHaul while Jeff played with the children. After the nap, I was good to go. Jeff never rested.
We managed to get to the house late in the evening on Saturday and then the kids and I crashed (J in a pack-n-play and R and I on inflatable beds). Started unloading the truck sometime Sunday afternoon and got the beds up. Jeff has to go over to the prison every Sunday night so that the inmates can have a service and Bible study (which is open to everyone) and then have to turn around and get up at 4AM to to go work (for 10 hours) on Monday. Needless to say, we had the truck all week because of time constraints on Jeff and my lack of ability to lift heavy boxes but, we finally got the truck turned in and (thanks to a good friend) the trailer for Jeff's car turned in much earlier.
I am soo thankful for Jeff's willingness to do whatever it took to get us to our new home (and everything he continues to do even now for the betterment of the family).
More to follow.....
There is a saying that a man will do whatever it takes to be with the woman he loves and Jeff proved that in just getting us here!
We managed to find a rental house to move into (and in a college town, that is NO easy feat!). I got the kids back to Garland late on Monday Aug.1st. Had two days to load up dishes and bedding before heading back up to Searcy on the 4th. Needless to say, all the traveling was starting to take a toll on R and J (especially J who doesn't travel very well). Got to hear Jeff and First Day sing in Mountain Home (which is a two hour drive from Searcy) on the 7th and then head back to TX and start boxing everything I could on the 8th - 14th.
Jeff drove down on the 13th to help box and then load the truck up (which was the biggest we could get and we still couldn't get everything in). The 13th ended up being a very, very long day for Jeff and I and we couldn't have gotten half of everything done without the help of K and G (who took the kids) and Steve and Jackie Meadows. Jeff finally closed the door on the truck at 3:30 AM on the 14th and we took some time to go over to K and G's house, Jeff got to shower and we both got something to eat. Both of the kids were also up (they may have cat-napped for a bit) at 4AM and then we headed out of TX and to our "new" home (at least for me, R, and J).
Jeff drove the truck ahead of me and I drove my car (kids in tow) and loaded down in the back for the 6 hr drive. I'm thankful neither one of the kids were very fussy but it was very difficult for me (and I'm sure for Jeff as well). It's one thing to pull an all-nighter when you're in college. It's something completely different when you are much older. I finally had to call Jeff and ask him to pull over somewhere before I either hit a guardrail or someone else in route. Jeff found a big empty parking lot and I took a 20 min. nap in the cab of the UHaul while Jeff played with the children. After the nap, I was good to go. Jeff never rested.
We managed to get to the house late in the evening on Saturday and then the kids and I crashed (J in a pack-n-play and R and I on inflatable beds). Started unloading the truck sometime Sunday afternoon and got the beds up. Jeff has to go over to the prison every Sunday night so that the inmates can have a service and Bible study (which is open to everyone) and then have to turn around and get up at 4AM to to go work (for 10 hours) on Monday. Needless to say, we had the truck all week because of time constraints on Jeff and my lack of ability to lift heavy boxes but, we finally got the truck turned in and (thanks to a good friend) the trailer for Jeff's car turned in much earlier.
I am soo thankful for Jeff's willingness to do whatever it took to get us to our new home (and everything he continues to do even now for the betterment of the family).
More to follow.....
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Getting caught up (again).
Greetings from the land of AR! I haven't been in front of a computer for almost 2 months (and yes I'm still breathing) but, A LOT has happened since then.
I've had a lot of event's, turmoil, and thoughts going through my head and about to go nuts if I didn't get it all down somehow so, please bear with me over the next couple of days as I slowly get all of this stuff out.
For the moment, I am one tired momma. J was up TWICE last night so sleep has become mandatory (and for those of you that are parents, you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about). Until then, prayers are that everyone has a great rest of your night.
More to follow....
I've had a lot of event's, turmoil, and thoughts going through my head and about to go nuts if I didn't get it all down somehow so, please bear with me over the next couple of days as I slowly get all of this stuff out.
For the moment, I am one tired momma. J was up TWICE last night so sleep has become mandatory (and for those of you that are parents, you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about). Until then, prayers are that everyone has a great rest of your night.
More to follow....
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
And the "fun" begins!
This last weekend, the children and I went back up to Searcy and, as you could probably guess, it was very, very busy...
Arrival time: Thursday evening.... Had enough time to have some dinner with Jeff, get the car unloaded and kids bathed and ready for an early bed time.
Friday morning started off with looking at two houses to rent and move into asap (one of which we now have a lease on.... Yippie!). Also started the pre-marital counseling sessions with a great guy (Sam) and meeting up with an old friend from Freed (and thank you Jenni for taking the kids for a while so we can get some stuff and "us" time in as well). Sam also suggested that Jeff and I read Stinnett's and Beam's book of "Fantastic Families: 6 proven steps to building a strong family. We managed to find one a local book shop (and some great coffee to boot!) but I still have to get one. Next session will be this coming weekend so, guess who's going to be on the road again (hint: It's NOT Jeff). R and J also had fun.... Jenni has a 3 yr old and a 14 month old daughters and they got to make cupcakes (talk about an ecstatic R!) I've also learned that Jeff knows A LOT of people. Almost everywhere we go, he runs into someone that he's good friends with. He even had one guy yelling at him to call him across a parking lot... (learned later it was a friend from church and we got invited out to lunch after services Sunday morning).
Saturday we just took it easy. The kids and I took at whopping 5 hour nap in the afternoon (shock!) We've also learned that J like to instigate games with his sister. Case in point: J grabbing R's favorite blanket (which she sleeps with nightly - and very special because it has Donovan's old blanket sewn in as a filling to the outer shell) and proclaiming "My blanky!". This promotes R to have a mock tug-of-war to keep said "blanky" from little bro (and lots of laughs from both in the process).
Sunday was started off with services in the morning then bible class (which is always full of discussion). Then off to lunch at a friend's house. The couple have 3 boys plus two more boys from Indonesia who will be staying with them through the school year (how Michelle does it? Hats off!). We also went and looked at one more house (which unfortunately was overrun by baby cockroaches - shudder!). Needless to say, the kids had a blast and have no trouble eating homemade spaghetti at their own table (kuddo's to J for staying put and eating a plate full plus some extra on the shirt). Then straight to worship and singing night. This, of course, was J's favorite. He had his songbook out and singing at the top of his lungs (even in-between those leading the singing). Needless to say, I didn't have any problem getting the kids down for the night.... A great day!
Monday morning was busy as well. Meet with the landlord and now we have a home to start moving into (joy!). So now the fun part begins of starting to move things from TX to AR. The only concern R had was that Chloe was coming too (and everything in her room of course). She asked me later if she could just stay somewhere while I go back and forth over the next several weeks. Granted, it's going to be tough (moving never is easy) but, Lord willing, we'll be a complete family by Sept.
More to follow....
Sunday
Arrival time: Thursday evening.... Had enough time to have some dinner with Jeff, get the car unloaded and kids bathed and ready for an early bed time.
Friday morning started off with looking at two houses to rent and move into asap (one of which we now have a lease on.... Yippie!). Also started the pre-marital counseling sessions with a great guy (Sam) and meeting up with an old friend from Freed (and thank you Jenni for taking the kids for a while so we can get some stuff and "us" time in as well). Sam also suggested that Jeff and I read Stinnett's and Beam's book of "Fantastic Families: 6 proven steps to building a strong family. We managed to find one a local book shop (and some great coffee to boot!) but I still have to get one. Next session will be this coming weekend so, guess who's going to be on the road again (hint: It's NOT Jeff). R and J also had fun.... Jenni has a 3 yr old and a 14 month old daughters and they got to make cupcakes (talk about an ecstatic R!) I've also learned that Jeff knows A LOT of people. Almost everywhere we go, he runs into someone that he's good friends with. He even had one guy yelling at him to call him across a parking lot... (learned later it was a friend from church and we got invited out to lunch after services Sunday morning).
Saturday we just took it easy. The kids and I took at whopping 5 hour nap in the afternoon (shock!) We've also learned that J like to instigate games with his sister. Case in point: J grabbing R's favorite blanket (which she sleeps with nightly - and very special because it has Donovan's old blanket sewn in as a filling to the outer shell) and proclaiming "My blanky!". This promotes R to have a mock tug-of-war to keep said "blanky" from little bro (and lots of laughs from both in the process).
Sunday was started off with services in the morning then bible class (which is always full of discussion). Then off to lunch at a friend's house. The couple have 3 boys plus two more boys from Indonesia who will be staying with them through the school year (how Michelle does it? Hats off!). We also went and looked at one more house (which unfortunately was overrun by baby cockroaches - shudder!). Needless to say, the kids had a blast and have no trouble eating homemade spaghetti at their own table (kuddo's to J for staying put and eating a plate full plus some extra on the shirt). Then straight to worship and singing night. This, of course, was J's favorite. He had his songbook out and singing at the top of his lungs (even in-between those leading the singing). Needless to say, I didn't have any problem getting the kids down for the night.... A great day!
Monday morning was busy as well. Meet with the landlord and now we have a home to start moving into (joy!). So now the fun part begins of starting to move things from TX to AR. The only concern R had was that Chloe was coming too (and everything in her room of course). She asked me later if she could just stay somewhere while I go back and forth over the next several weeks. Granted, it's going to be tough (moving never is easy) but, Lord willing, we'll be a complete family by Sept.
More to follow....
Sunday
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
The Proposal! :)
The above picture says it all. :) Now, for the details (which Jeff didn't go into).
The children and I arrived in Searcy this last Thursday evening and got to grab something to eat with Jeff before he had a meeting to go to at 7.
Friday, Jeff told me that SOMETHING was going to happen this weekend but wouldn't say what (even though we went to several places that had wedding rings). The places that we went to all said the same thing... No size 4's and "we'd have to ship it out and get it sized and send it back to you". Friday afternoon, got the kids down for a nap and Jeff said he had some errands to run.
So, my thought was, Ok... So much for THAT idea and just focused on enjoying our time together (even though I was a bit bummed)... Ha! Went to a friend's wedding Saturday afternoon (which R was elated because there were TWO cakes! and J did really good in not making a mess - so proud of them). Had just enough time to go back to the motel, get the kids changed, me changed and then head to Highway Church of Christ to go to their VBS kickoff (complete with cookout, games, and First Day singing - Jeff sings with these guys). Got to see some ol' friends from CRC (Crowley's Ridge Jr. College) days. Devin Swindle (who now preaches at Highway) and Tracy Davis Miesner (and Adrian and kiddo's).
Got to the rest of the guys (and still trying to figure out where I know the sound guy from). I had met the main lead (Matt) and his wife (Carolyn - is also 7 months preggers and also a cohort in Jeff's scheme for the evening) the last time that we went up to Searcy. She had asked me to sit with her and that she had to sit kinda close so that she could do some stuff for the group and take pictures. I learned later from Jeff that her "main job" was to get me up closer to the stage and in the isle so that way Jeff wouldn't have to go over people to get to me. Also, I knew this concert was special because it was a tribute to Devin (who started the group to begin with). So, thank you Devin for giving up a bit of your spotlight with us! (He and Carolyn were the only ones in the group that knew what was going on).
The group sang a few songs and I was busy grinning at Jeff and trying to keep J from going up on stage to be with Jeff (J was content to either be "singing" along with the group *using a pencil as a mic* or using two pencils as a drumming sticks and keeping up with the guys).
The surprise came when the guys were introducing themselves. Jeff was the last one (I learned later he did this on purpose) and he got off the stage and was walking to where the children and I were sitting. First thought was... "Uh Oh!" "Oh boy!" Oh Dear!". First he introduced who I was and then promptly got down on one knee and proposed. Needless to say, I was ecstatic! Somehow, I manged to get an "I love you" and a "Yes!" out and thankfully Matt heard it through the mic (thanks to those little ear pieces that let the guys hear each other sing) and he kinda hollered "She said yes!" Jeff started to put the ring on my left hand but ended up putting on my right (and it almost didn't go on!) but, switched it later (once I realized the oppsss). The guys went back to singing and got Devin up to sing some "final" songs as well. Brought back some good memories of hearing him, Travis Eades, Jason Elms, and Rusty McMillion.
As for the kids, J is pretty much clueless. He just wants to be around Jeff as soon as he walks into the room! Case in point: Jeff goes to the Jail and helps/does the services for the inmates on Sunday night (which makes it pretty late when he gets out). I had just gotten the kids down (or tried to) when Jeff came up to say good-night to me and the kids. Jeff went over to J in his pack-n-play to give him a hug and kiss good-night and then went over to do the same for R. Well, J would have none of that. He climbed out of his pack-n-play and ran over to Jeff demanding more attention than just a hug and kiss good night. R is the same way. She got as close as she could and telling Jeff (don't kiss me! Don't kiss me!) all while showing her cheek and staying as close as she could to Jeff.
Jeff told me later that he knew he wanted to propose either at the concert or in Bible Class Sunday morning..... I'm glad he did it at the concert! :)
More to follow!
Monday, July 18, 2011
Small Words
Over the past several months, J has expounded in his vocabulary. Today was the beginning of the words "I want".
All of us start out needing the basics... food, water, love, protection, etc. The question is, when are we no longer satisfied with just the basics? When do we go from "I need" to "I want"? Granted, some children don't even receive these basic's (and I know that just from experience and seeing first hand growing up) which shouldn't even be an issue but continues to be one in this country (as well as the rest of the world. But, when we get start getting it in our heads that we are entitled to something?
I remember J (and R as well) being perfectly content with just the basic's. Do we teach our children (and others) that we are entitled to things and so should they? There is a song in the musical "South Pacific" that caused quite a stir up when it was released called, "You have to be carefully taught". That song hit me when J started the "I want" phase. Granted, I'm thankful that he's able to verbalize something that he wants to do (ie: swing in this instance) so now the challenge comes of teaching him the difference between "I would like... This" and "I need... This" and then being thankful for the things received.
How many times are we guilty of not being thankful to God for the blessing that He gives us? All our "I want's"?? All our "I need's"??
Thoughts, comments, suggestions???
More to follow.....
All of us start out needing the basics... food, water, love, protection, etc. The question is, when are we no longer satisfied with just the basics? When do we go from "I need" to "I want"? Granted, some children don't even receive these basic's (and I know that just from experience and seeing first hand growing up) which shouldn't even be an issue but continues to be one in this country (as well as the rest of the world. But, when we get start getting it in our heads that we are entitled to something?
I remember J (and R as well) being perfectly content with just the basic's. Do we teach our children (and others) that we are entitled to things and so should they? There is a song in the musical "South Pacific" that caused quite a stir up when it was released called, "You have to be carefully taught". That song hit me when J started the "I want" phase. Granted, I'm thankful that he's able to verbalize something that he wants to do (ie: swing in this instance) so now the challenge comes of teaching him the difference between "I would like... This" and "I need... This" and then being thankful for the things received.
How many times are we guilty of not being thankful to God for the blessing that He gives us? All our "I want's"?? All our "I need's"??
Thoughts, comments, suggestions???
More to follow.....
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Passing the baton
This last weekend was a bit of an emotional roller coaster for me. While it was wonderful to have Jeff back in town, it was also a bit tough.
Friday, in and of itself was great just to kinda relax. R even got to help make (from scratch) some chocolate icing for a chocolate bunt cake that we made (also from scratch) on Saturday.
Saturday was the challenge. I had known for quite a while that I wanted to show Jeff where Donovan was buried. Initially, I had wanted to take him and it just be the two of us but that's kinda hard to do when I have the children 24/7.
I had asked R if she wanted to go and see where Daddy was buried and if it would be ok for Jeff to see (which she agreed to). We took the kids to a splash park and they had a blast. On the way back, I asked R again if it would be ok to go and see where Donovan was buried and this time she said no. I asked her if it would be ok for Jeff and I to go and she could stay in the car (running of course) with J. She was ok with that.
Both of the kids had crashed in their seats when we got to the cemetery so we got out and let them sleep with air conditioning. As soon as I stepped onto the grass, the tears came. I was not expecting this! I knew that there would probably be times down the road that I would miss Donovan and I also knew (as Jeff did) that I wasn't looking for someone to "fill" Donovan's shoes (so to speak). In many ways, Jeff has already meant so much to me and the children. We stood by Donovan's grave and it felt like he had died eons ago, rather than in Dec. '08. I also showed Jeff a grave marker that was done about a week or so after Donovan had died. It is a burial plot for a whole family who (I'm guessing) were killed in a car wreck. A mother, father, and two children.... Gone in an instant. Each time that I had gone to Donovan's grave, I would see that marker and be reminded of how blessed and thankful I should be. I lost my husband at a very difficult time but I know where he is now. Another family lost much more and who knows about eternity.
One we got back to the house, I had a lot of heaviness but I also had someone to hold on to and cry with and a God who helps more than (many times) we give Him credit for. After a while, the heaviness left and we were able to make an awesome supper and a nice chocolate bunt cake (which R and a neighbor hood friend got a sugar rush from) so the day ended well.
It was also great just to sit next to Jeff during worship. Sometimes, you forget how good you had it or how much little things mean until you suddenly don't have that anymore. Yes, it's challenge to try and keep a certain 2 yr old from talking (or singing) at the most inopportune moments (which little ones seem to capitalize on) but it's soo important to have someone that prays with you, sings with you and studies God's word with you during worship. Thank you for being the man you are Jeff!
More to follow....
Friday, in and of itself was great just to kinda relax. R even got to help make (from scratch) some chocolate icing for a chocolate bunt cake that we made (also from scratch) on Saturday.
Saturday was the challenge. I had known for quite a while that I wanted to show Jeff where Donovan was buried. Initially, I had wanted to take him and it just be the two of us but that's kinda hard to do when I have the children 24/7.
I had asked R if she wanted to go and see where Daddy was buried and if it would be ok for Jeff to see (which she agreed to). We took the kids to a splash park and they had a blast. On the way back, I asked R again if it would be ok to go and see where Donovan was buried and this time she said no. I asked her if it would be ok for Jeff and I to go and she could stay in the car (running of course) with J. She was ok with that.
Both of the kids had crashed in their seats when we got to the cemetery so we got out and let them sleep with air conditioning. As soon as I stepped onto the grass, the tears came. I was not expecting this! I knew that there would probably be times down the road that I would miss Donovan and I also knew (as Jeff did) that I wasn't looking for someone to "fill" Donovan's shoes (so to speak). In many ways, Jeff has already meant so much to me and the children. We stood by Donovan's grave and it felt like he had died eons ago, rather than in Dec. '08. I also showed Jeff a grave marker that was done about a week or so after Donovan had died. It is a burial plot for a whole family who (I'm guessing) were killed in a car wreck. A mother, father, and two children.... Gone in an instant. Each time that I had gone to Donovan's grave, I would see that marker and be reminded of how blessed and thankful I should be. I lost my husband at a very difficult time but I know where he is now. Another family lost much more and who knows about eternity.
One we got back to the house, I had a lot of heaviness but I also had someone to hold on to and cry with and a God who helps more than (many times) we give Him credit for. After a while, the heaviness left and we were able to make an awesome supper and a nice chocolate bunt cake (which R and a neighbor hood friend got a sugar rush from) so the day ended well.
It was also great just to sit next to Jeff during worship. Sometimes, you forget how good you had it or how much little things mean until you suddenly don't have that anymore. Yes, it's challenge to try and keep a certain 2 yr old from talking (or singing) at the most inopportune moments (which little ones seem to capitalize on) but it's soo important to have someone that prays with you, sings with you and studies God's word with you during worship. Thank you for being the man you are Jeff!
More to follow....
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