A blessing

I was reading something a few days ago and it hit home. It's something that I've been blessed with several times over the years and was thankful for at those times but didn't think much about it after those moments passed. It's something very simple but can be very profound for all involved. What I'm referring to is something many of us do. At some point in our lives, we all (at least hopefully all) rise to the occasion when someone we know is going thru a life changing event (ie: death in the family, a birth in the family, moving family members, etc). I'm sure we all get emails from our congregation(s) or group that there's someone in need of help. Question is, what do we do when the help is no longer needed and no one else that we know needs help? If you're like me, we go back to our daily, CrAzY routine (or lack of it) and don't think anything else about it. The problem is, the need (many times) is still there. The crisis may be over but it doesn't stop. The effects of a loss in the family is still felt month and years later (which is part of the reason why I'm still writing). While I am ever so thankful to those who rose to the occasion shortly after Donovan died, there is still an emptiness. There are still questions (tough questions) that some very young children are going to be asking and emotions that they haven't had to deal with that will come up. The shock wears off in time but the pain comes back and in many different forms. Same thing applies to the birth in a family. Children grow (thankfully) but the need for help is still there. I have a friend on FB that recently posted a thank you to a couple who (without being asked - and with several children at home of their own) took all 5 of her children so that she could have a few hours to get her hair cut and some down time for herself. This simple statement of thanks made me feel guilty. What was I doing to help others? What am I teaching my children? Children learn more from what they see than what they're told many times so, what am I doing to help them learn the importance of being helpful to others who aren't in a big occasion but still need kindness, compassion, or just a simple "You're important to me" action? It is soo easy to get wrapped up in our own family and their needs that we may be blind to others or, use the excuse (that I find myself using) of, I just don't have the time or the energy. Granted, there are times when we do need to slow down and rejuvenate ourselves and our family time. The thing is, we don't need to wait for life's big changes to rise to the occasion for someone. We need to be a blessing to those around us on a daily basses so that we can be what God calls us to be. Servants of His. More to follow....

Before and After

All of us have our before and after moments. Times that have changed our lives forever and sometimes, they happen in a blink of an eye. Those moments may also affect our families, friends, even co-workers. Those moments also define our faith (whether we like it or not). I've had several of those moments over the years. Getting adopted, leaving the children's home, becoming a Christian, going to college, figuring out what I wanted to do with my life, getting married, having a daughter, becoming a widow, having a son, dating again, Jeff finding me, getting married, and having another son. Some of the things I just mentioned, you have experienced yourself. Some of those things, I pray none of you ever have to face until you're in the twilight of your years and very ready to go Home. Through all of those moments (and the day - to- day task), God's providence has always been there. Even in the darkest times when I felt I couldn't get up. We've all had those times. Some that have only lasted a few seconds and some that have last several years. The challenge for each of us is to keep looking ahead for the "after" moments instead of constantly looking back at our lives before. We will never grow or become stronger in looking back and longing for the past. Each person has to keep going and always remind each other and ourselves that God is always present. More to follow....

How to deal.....

I haven't written on here in quite a while and, I apologize for that. Those of you who are parents, you KNOW how busy life can get...especially if there's 3 children running around and one of them is a 10 month old wanna-be walker/crawler. EEEEeeeekkkkk! Anywho, I wanted to get everybody caught up (somewhat) of what life has been like around here. The past couple of months have been CrAzY busy but, pretty much, in a good way. Jeff FINALLY got to meet my parents in person in May. It's the first time they got to see Lex as well and it had been three years since they had seen J or R. It was a nice trip over all but, we won't be staying in a hotel in Taccoa next time we go back (THAT is a whole ballgame in itself!). Also got to see some of Jeff's cousins in Birmingham (which is always great) and R got to spend some one-on-one time with one of her favorite people. :) The kids and I also spent the week with K and G while Jeff was in the Dominican Republic on a singing/mission trip in June. We were able to be there for Father's Day and to help celebrate K's birthday and Margie (G's mom) birthday as well. The week had it's challenges but, overall, a good week. On Father's Day, Jeff was able to talk to K a little bit and wish him a happy Father's Day as did I. The sad thing is, he was on auto pilot. It was very obvious that K didn't want to think or feel anything so, like most people who don't want to face (or deal with) their grief, they go on auto pilot. It will be 5 years come December and the signs are showing up in K (complexion, lack of sleep, weepy, etc). Of course, they both have their plates full. K's brother Jay, has been mentally going downhill at a fast rate. Six months ago, Jay was functioning on a 4 or 5 year old. Now, he's functioning on a 1 or 2 year old. Margie has started refusing to eat at times or to take her meds so, the facility that she is at has to call G and then Margie will eat for her (or meds, shower, etc). I am worried of how they will cope when Jay passes. K hasn't allowed himself to completely grieve from Donovan's death or his dad's passing 2 years later. I'm sure that they both tackle with the "If Only" game.... If only we had done this or that. Life would be much more different than it is now. I used to do that until I finally just took this life for what it was, let the Almighty deal with whatever consequences that other people had, and just do the best I can for Him and His glory. I constantly see on FB (there are three groups specifically for widow's/widower's and I see this "What if" mentality over and over again. The truth is, no matter how much wishing you or I do every day, our lives have nowhere else to be but with us. Too many times, we all fall into the "what if" and waste time by either wishing or wondering the day away. God hasn't jumped ship on us and we shouldn't jump ship with Him either. If we do, Satan has won the day. It's each of our choices whether we get back up on our feet and keep trusting and obeying Him or let Satan keep us down. Keep your head up! :) Also, please keep K and G in your prayers and thoughts. It's going to be a rough road ahead and they're going to need all the love and support that they can get! Thanks! More to follow.....