This last Sunday afternoon, I got a phone call from K and G. They told me that Everett (Donovan's grandfather, Ken's dad) passed away in his sleep. He would have been turning 98 on July 10th.
Everett had had episodes before of falls/mentally unstable before and had always rebounded rather quickly. On the 19th, K had gotten a call from his sister that Everett had fallen but also had some blockage in his intestines which made the mental problems more pronounced. That Sunday night, K had kinda pulled me aside at church to see what I thought. He also told me that Everett had asked for him (Ken) *major red flag* but, the family went ahead with the plan to wait until Everett's b-day (when everyone was planing to go and see him anyway). The funeral will be tomorrow....
Sometimes, older folks will have some time (or moments) of crystal clarity in their thinking and make request. Case in point, when I was living in Knoxville, TN., I had the honor of working on a locked unit of a Geri/Psych ward. I wore many hats on that floor and one of them was for Social Worker Assistant and I did one-on-one time with patients who didn't go to group that day. It was kinda late in the day and I went to see a dear, sweet lady and see what she was thinking about. She looked at me with such clear eyes (not a dazed or confused or blank look) and asked me "Am I going to be getting any better?" I told her that she would probably be released to go back home either tomorrow or the next day. It all depended on how she did and what the Dr thought. She seemed happy about that and then got really sad and asked me "But I'm not going to be getting COMPLETELY better, am I?" All I could do was smile, give her little shoulder a rub and say "We'll see". She died in her sleep that night. Needless to say, the whole staff was shaken the next day.
Too many times, the older generation that lived through war, the depression, etc get overlooked and written off. Many times, all they want is compassion, empathy, and a little time to share their memories and knowledge. If you have grandparents/ parents who are suffering from any kind of mental/emotionally problems, please give them that little bit of time that they want and deserve because you may not have that time tomorrow.
More to follow....
Monday, June 27, 2011
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Another suprise
This last Sunday night, I got a pleasant surprise.
For the first time in 7 years, R got to spend the night with K and G! Over the last couple of years especially, R and I both have asked them if R could spend the night at the grandparents but were always given some sort of excuse. Needless to say, R was ecstatic!
It was a little weird not having her at home (even though she has spent the night at several friend's houses' the last few years) but, I was happy she finally got a chance. What's sad is the lost amount of time to get to this point with K and G! I guess it took a BIG wake up call for them to finally quite giving excuses and take advantage of the time that they have!
So, those of you who are grandparents (or have family members with children), please don't pass up amazing memories with children before it's almost too late!
More to follow....
For the first time in 7 years, R got to spend the night with K and G! Over the last couple of years especially, R and I both have asked them if R could spend the night at the grandparents but were always given some sort of excuse. Needless to say, R was ecstatic!
It was a little weird not having her at home (even though she has spent the night at several friend's houses' the last few years) but, I was happy she finally got a chance. What's sad is the lost amount of time to get to this point with K and G! I guess it took a BIG wake up call for them to finally quite giving excuses and take advantage of the time that they have!
So, those of you who are grandparents (or have family members with children), please don't pass up amazing memories with children before it's almost too late!
More to follow....
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Another status change
Over the past month or so, I had a friendship that took things to a whole
different level for me, R and J. All thanks to EHarmony. This last Wed.,
he decided to take things up a notch by making our relationship public on
facebook.
I had vaguely known Jeff back at Freed. He was graduating the year I
started at Freed as a Sophomore and was in the "rival chorus" on campus
(HUGE note of sarcasm here).
I had been a member of EHarmony since Jan of this year and had "talked" to a
few guys (after we went through the questionnaire thing). Jeff didn't even
bother with that stuff once he discovered that we both went to Freed
*thinking It's a small world theme song* and started off with a question to
verify that I had been there. Admittedly, I had to look him up in the year
book.... We discovered that we had a lot more similar interest that just
that we had been at the same college. He is into Jail/Prison ministry and
wants to do that full time (once he gets congregations to support him), he's
in a singing group and has about 30 or so concerts each year, and he works
full time for a company that refurbishes tractor trailers.
The kicker for me was an email that he sent which included these words...
"If I come down to see you" (and yes, he lives in Searcy). Just a side
note but, have you ever really understood how power a single word can be?
Just sayin'... :) Anywho, my only response was that one little powerful
word but with a question mark... "If??"
Needless to say, he has driven 5.5 hours down here to see me for the last 3
weekends and some of you got to see him (abet a bit briefly) this morning
before he had to head back to Searcy to preach at the Jail tonight.
More to follow....
different level for me, R and J. All thanks to EHarmony. This last Wed.,
he decided to take things up a notch by making our relationship public on
facebook.
I had vaguely known Jeff back at Freed. He was graduating the year I
started at Freed as a Sophomore and was in the "rival chorus" on campus
(HUGE note of sarcasm here).
I had been a member of EHarmony since Jan of this year and had "talked" to a
few guys (after we went through the questionnaire thing). Jeff didn't even
bother with that stuff once he discovered that we both went to Freed
*thinking It's a small world theme song* and started off with a question to
verify that I had been there. Admittedly, I had to look him up in the year
book.... We discovered that we had a lot more similar interest that just
that we had been at the same college. He is into Jail/Prison ministry and
wants to do that full time (once he gets congregations to support him), he's
in a singing group and has about 30 or so concerts each year, and he works
full time for a company that refurbishes tractor trailers.
The kicker for me was an email that he sent which included these words...
"If I come down to see you" (and yes, he lives in Searcy). Just a side
note but, have you ever really understood how power a single word can be?
Just sayin'... :) Anywho, my only response was that one little powerful
word but with a question mark... "If??"
Needless to say, he has driven 5.5 hours down here to see me for the last 3
weekends and some of you got to see him (abet a bit briefly) this morning
before he had to head back to Searcy to preach at the Jail tonight.
More to follow....
Monday, June 6, 2011
Another hurdle
Another hurdle has been cleared as of this last Saturday and no, this wasn't one that I had to clear.
Over the last two years, K and G didn't go on the Back to the Bible Campaign which is conducted by the Northwest congregation in Lawton, Ok. In '09, it was conducted in Lawton and I took the kids and went door knocking with everyone. Emotionally, it was very difficult. Not just for me but also for the people at Northwest.
K and G lived there for several years while Donovan was about Rebecca's age. So it was difficult for the Northwest folks as it had been for me. This year, the campaign is being done at Amarillo, Tx and K and G decided to go but it wasn't an easy decision. As K put it, "If G doesn't go this year, she probably won't ever go again". They're tie with Northwest is strong in that they had gone every year since Northwest started doing campaigns so, yes... This was HUGE for them.
They called me Saturday night (or rather G did) and she sounded a little tearful but happy at the same time. I was really close to going as well but, it was a HUGE blessing for me that I didn't... :)
More to follow....
Over the last two years, K and G didn't go on the Back to the Bible Campaign which is conducted by the Northwest congregation in Lawton, Ok. In '09, it was conducted in Lawton and I took the kids and went door knocking with everyone. Emotionally, it was very difficult. Not just for me but also for the people at Northwest.
K and G lived there for several years while Donovan was about Rebecca's age. So it was difficult for the Northwest folks as it had been for me. This year, the campaign is being done at Amarillo, Tx and K and G decided to go but it wasn't an easy decision. As K put it, "If G doesn't go this year, she probably won't ever go again". They're tie with Northwest is strong in that they had gone every year since Northwest started doing campaigns so, yes... This was HUGE for them.
They called me Saturday night (or rather G did) and she sounded a little tearful but happy at the same time. I was really close to going as well but, it was a HUGE blessing for me that I didn't... :)
More to follow....
Monday, May 30, 2011
The empty chair
Last night, I got to watch a little bit of the National Memorial Day Concert put out by PBS and considering today is National Memorial Day, the pain of loss crept in just a little bit.
On Facebook, I have seen lots of thanks going out to our military and their family and to remember those who gave their lives for the sake of our nations freedom. One status that I saw went something along the lines of ..."while enjoying your time with your family, remember that there are those who have an empty chair". That spoke volumes to me.
Granted, we (as people) need to remember our fallen soldiers and their families. We also need to keep in mind those countless others that have lost loved ones (whether it was an expected loss or not). Yesterday, there was a birth of a little girl who now has a very proud uncle and there was also a family who lost a mother/wife/daughter and who was also very influential to a lot of college kids at Freed. Rather ironic isn't it?
More to follow....
On Facebook, I have seen lots of thanks going out to our military and their family and to remember those who gave their lives for the sake of our nations freedom. One status that I saw went something along the lines of ..."while enjoying your time with your family, remember that there are those who have an empty chair". That spoke volumes to me.
Granted, we (as people) need to remember our fallen soldiers and their families. We also need to keep in mind those countless others that have lost loved ones (whether it was an expected loss or not). Yesterday, there was a birth of a little girl who now has a very proud uncle and there was also a family who lost a mother/wife/daughter and who was also very influential to a lot of college kids at Freed. Rather ironic isn't it?
More to follow....
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
"Dad's Day"
This morning, R saw an advertisement for Father's Day on TV. She then asked me if we were going to celebrate "Dad's day" to which I replied that we were and make it extra special for Papaw (Donovan's dad). She liked this idea and proceeded to get all excited about what she would get for Daddy and for Papaw. I simply smile and tend to the task at hand which is getting her ready for school and getting J fed.
The problem is, it brings back a painful reminder that Donovan will be missing another Father's Day with his children. He was sooo looking forward to J's arrival and had been coming up with middle names for J.... Names I didn't know about until several months later when K got on Donovan's computer. R and Donovan were getting very close too in Donovan's sharing his love of records and music with R.
Yes, it's very easy to slip into the questions that won't have any answers and it's ok to ask. The thing is not to get bogged down with the why's and change it to why not. Why not make things as easy and as fun as possible? Granted, it can be a struggle sometimes but, if I can be honest with myself and say, at the end of the day, "This was a good day and the next will be even better", it makes everything worthwhile. I know that God has something special for us down the road and that as long as we keep striving to follow His Word and His Will, it will all work out for the best (in spite of tears along the way).
My dad always tells me, at the end of each phone conversation to keep on keeping on and that what I intend to do. I owe that to God, Donovan, my children, and myself.
More to follow....
The problem is, it brings back a painful reminder that Donovan will be missing another Father's Day with his children. He was sooo looking forward to J's arrival and had been coming up with middle names for J.... Names I didn't know about until several months later when K got on Donovan's computer. R and Donovan were getting very close too in Donovan's sharing his love of records and music with R.
Yes, it's very easy to slip into the questions that won't have any answers and it's ok to ask. The thing is not to get bogged down with the why's and change it to why not. Why not make things as easy and as fun as possible? Granted, it can be a struggle sometimes but, if I can be honest with myself and say, at the end of the day, "This was a good day and the next will be even better", it makes everything worthwhile. I know that God has something special for us down the road and that as long as we keep striving to follow His Word and His Will, it will all work out for the best (in spite of tears along the way).
My dad always tells me, at the end of each phone conversation to keep on keeping on and that what I intend to do. I owe that to God, Donovan, my children, and myself.
More to follow....
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Case closed
About 2 months ago, we got Chloe which has been a blessing except for one thing that we discovered (much to my surprise).
Chloe is a HUGE fan of climbing/jumping over the little white picket fence that's in the back yard (or darting out the front door if it's opened by anybody). This probably wouldn't be that big of a deal if there was someone besides me taking care of the kids and a dog but, Chloe is very fast and she's still learning the rules of the house (baby steps). Chloe also is very smart and knew when to get over the fence when the kids had me tending to them. So, I'd have to stop was I was doing, make sure J couldn't get into something (or get out himself) and go hunt down Chloe.
Last week, I finally decided to get an invisible fence (which does not give a shock if she gets too close - but rather like a message pull to the muscles). After a few days and understanding a very key word (HOT), she no longer gets out which means I can get back to being a full time mom. Much to my (and R's) relief. Case closed! :)
More to follow.....
Chloe is a HUGE fan of climbing/jumping over the little white picket fence that's in the back yard (or darting out the front door if it's opened by anybody). This probably wouldn't be that big of a deal if there was someone besides me taking care of the kids and a dog but, Chloe is very fast and she's still learning the rules of the house (baby steps). Chloe also is very smart and knew when to get over the fence when the kids had me tending to them. So, I'd have to stop was I was doing, make sure J couldn't get into something (or get out himself) and go hunt down Chloe.
Last week, I finally decided to get an invisible fence (which does not give a shock if she gets too close - but rather like a message pull to the muscles). After a few days and understanding a very key word (HOT), she no longer gets out which means I can get back to being a full time mom. Much to my (and R's) relief. Case closed! :)
More to follow.....
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