Yesterday afternoon, I got to finish the movie "Leap Year". Sweet movie that kinda hit home for me (as it did the main character) and that is this simple question. If your home was on fire (or you were caught in a life/death situation), what one thing would you grab if you had only 60 seconds?
At almost the end of the movie, the main character figured this question out. She had initially taken it the easy way (and what everyone else would have expected her to do) instead of going on gut instincts, the truth, and fighting for what she really needed.
Many of us have 60 seconds that change our lives (for better or for worse) but some people never get that chance. I had 60 seconds with Donovan before the EMS arrived but I never got to say goodbye, I love you, or anything and neither did he. Do I regret not taking that chance? In a way, yes but I was also in a state of complete panic and shock.... The only thing I could do for him was call 911 and let them give him 6 more hours of life.
As a society, we are told to not say what we think (or feel) but to say was is considered by the world's standards as "nice". Please do yourself (and those that you love and care about) and say what you think. Otherwise, you may live to regret 60 seconds that could have changed everything.
More to follow....
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Not getting in a hurry...
I got the following quote in my inbox this morning and got me itching to write so please bear with me.
Nothing can be more useful to you than a determination not to be hurried.
- Henry David Thoreau
Now, how many times do we catch ourselves rushing around (either driving or at home or at work)?? Nine times out of ten (if you're like me) ALL the time. Granted, I know the importance of having a schedule and trying to stick to that but then letting even that slide for a few minutes of instant gratification (ie: something spur of the moment that makes you feel great but not something that you just HAVE to HAVE).
It takes work to slow down and not rush things. It takes time to build true friendships, families, and understanding what God's plan is for us on earth. Even though I sometimes wish I knew a rough draft timeline so that I wouldn't wonder so much but, that's where faith comes in.... Right?
J and R have been good teachers of when to rush and when not too and sometimes, R calls me on when I get tooo rushed and ask the all important question of why.
I hope all of us take the time to slow down this week, let God do His own thing with our lives and strive to do what's right.
More to follow....
Nothing can be more useful to you than a determination not to be hurried.
- Henry David Thoreau
Now, how many times do we catch ourselves rushing around (either driving or at home or at work)?? Nine times out of ten (if you're like me) ALL the time. Granted, I know the importance of having a schedule and trying to stick to that but then letting even that slide for a few minutes of instant gratification (ie: something spur of the moment that makes you feel great but not something that you just HAVE to HAVE).
It takes work to slow down and not rush things. It takes time to build true friendships, families, and understanding what God's plan is for us on earth. Even though I sometimes wish I knew a rough draft timeline so that I wouldn't wonder so much but, that's where faith comes in.... Right?
J and R have been good teachers of when to rush and when not too and sometimes, R calls me on when I get tooo rushed and ask the all important question of why.
I hope all of us take the time to slow down this week, let God do His own thing with our lives and strive to do what's right.
More to follow....
Monday, April 4, 2011
The game!
A few weeks ago, a friend of mine on FB put on his status that he had 4 tickets to the Mavericks game on a Thursday night - for free! The only reason he couldn't go was because his son had a t-ball game that night... So, since I haven't been to a basketball game since college, I thought it was high time that I went.
Got the tickets and then had to message several girlfriends if they wanted to do a girls night out at the Mavs game. :) Needless to say, all 4 of us had a lot of fun and the Mavs definitely kept us on our toes the whole time..... They REALLY need to work on their defense!
Now the question is... Am I going to get lucky enough to find some free tickets again? Hope so! :)
More to follow....
Got the tickets and then had to message several girlfriends if they wanted to do a girls night out at the Mavs game. :) Needless to say, all 4 of us had a lot of fun and the Mavs definitely kept us on our toes the whole time..... They REALLY need to work on their defense!
Now the question is... Am I going to get lucky enough to find some free tickets again? Hope so! :)
More to follow....
Monday, March 28, 2011
Newest addition!
For those of you who don't know yet... We have a new addition to our family! Her name is Chloe and she's 3 months old and a complete joy!
R claims that Chloe is HER dog and as soon as she gets home from school, Chloe is. However, *evil chuckle here* I think Chloe is more my dog than anything else. She is right at my heels where ever I am (except when she starts out the night on R's bed). Usually, by the time I'm ready to go to sleep, Chloe is ready too and she takes up the other half of the bed (most of the time).
She's also very patient with J. She will give him a little nip if he gets too close to her "toys" (which are usually his toys) to let him know to back off when she's playing. But on the whole, couldn't ask for a better dog and it's helped R a lot (and me as well).
More to follow.....
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Getting through an upheaval.
This is the first of (many) ideas that have sprung from reading the book "Eat, Pray, Love". It took me several months to get through the whole thing. Although I liked the book as a whole, the start and about half of the middle were a bit hard to get through since there were tons of three letter words dropped everywhere (big turn off for me personally) so... I'm going to get off my soapbox and keep going. :)
The following is an exert from the book so please bear with me on this: " a housewife, then unexpectedly became a widow, then took up fan-dancing to make money, ended up somehow as the first female dentist in out space, an then tried to hand at national politics - yet who has managed to hold an intact sense of herself throughout every upheaval."
This really hit home for me in that I know I am no where near who I was 27 months ago (boy that doesn't sound very long ago... Does it?) and I know I'm probably not done changing yet either. The fact is, no one is completely done changing until they take their last breath. Each and every human being is constantly changing (whether we like it or not) and have been since the time that we were born. We've all had chaos to deal with in one way or another.
When I was working on a locked Geri-Psych floor in Knoxville, Tn., there was an exercise that we social workers used with the patients. Most of these patients could remember back to when they were children and we asked them to think about when they first went to Kindergarten and how they felt. The first time they went to the 5th or 6th grade and how they felt about the change. Some had good memories about those times and some did not. We all have those kinds of memories that were either pleasant or horrible but, like most kids, we all rolled with the flow, tried to do what we were told and make whoever proud of us.
What changes when we become adults and start having panic attacks, sleepless nights, and anxiety because of changes? Is it because we place more pressure on ourselves or allow pressure to be placed on us? When we were kids, we knew that (somehow) everything was going to work out ok. We had confidence in our family or those that loved and cared about us and we didn't worry. What happened??
I don't know about you but, I'm trying to get back to having that confidence of a kid again. Too many times, we lose our faith in ourselves, others, God, etc and we get sooo wrapped in everything else that we lose who we are as a person. When was the last time that you went and did some serious swinging on the swings? To have that feeling of "flying" through the air without limits (at least as long as the chain would let us... Ha!).
Sure, we all have responsibilities to God, our children, parents, family, co-workers, etc... But we also have a responsibility to our individual selves in not getting so wrapped up in stuff that we forget who we are.
Change, for the most part, is a good thing if we handle it right. We can either face it kicking and screaming like a tyrant 2-yr old or just go with whatever God has in store for us and see what happens.
More to follow.....
The following is an exert from the book so please bear with me on this: " a housewife, then unexpectedly became a widow, then took up fan-dancing to make money, ended up somehow as the first female dentist in out space, an then tried to hand at national politics - yet who has managed to hold an intact sense of herself throughout every upheaval."
This really hit home for me in that I know I am no where near who I was 27 months ago (boy that doesn't sound very long ago... Does it?) and I know I'm probably not done changing yet either. The fact is, no one is completely done changing until they take their last breath. Each and every human being is constantly changing (whether we like it or not) and have been since the time that we were born. We've all had chaos to deal with in one way or another.
When I was working on a locked Geri-Psych floor in Knoxville, Tn., there was an exercise that we social workers used with the patients. Most of these patients could remember back to when they were children and we asked them to think about when they first went to Kindergarten and how they felt. The first time they went to the 5th or 6th grade and how they felt about the change. Some had good memories about those times and some did not. We all have those kinds of memories that were either pleasant or horrible but, like most kids, we all rolled with the flow, tried to do what we were told and make whoever proud of us.
What changes when we become adults and start having panic attacks, sleepless nights, and anxiety because of changes? Is it because we place more pressure on ourselves or allow pressure to be placed on us? When we were kids, we knew that (somehow) everything was going to work out ok. We had confidence in our family or those that loved and cared about us and we didn't worry. What happened??
I don't know about you but, I'm trying to get back to having that confidence of a kid again. Too many times, we lose our faith in ourselves, others, God, etc and we get sooo wrapped in everything else that we lose who we are as a person. When was the last time that you went and did some serious swinging on the swings? To have that feeling of "flying" through the air without limits (at least as long as the chain would let us... Ha!).
Sure, we all have responsibilities to God, our children, parents, family, co-workers, etc... But we also have a responsibility to our individual selves in not getting so wrapped up in stuff that we forget who we are.
Change, for the most part, is a good thing if we handle it right. We can either face it kicking and screaming like a tyrant 2-yr old or just go with whatever God has in store for us and see what happens.
More to follow.....
Monday, February 28, 2011
Catching up... again.
Hello again! Thought I had forgotten?? Not really... Have been really busy and feeling an overwhelming urge to get (almost) everything out before I burst. I didn't realize that I hadn't written since Dec. 14th! Yikes!
Ok... In a nutshell. Christmas this year (for me anyway) was a lot easier to deal with. Yes, it was still painful but I didn't cry much this time. K and G still had a hard time. As usual, G had her "mask" on but K had to wipe tears from his eyes a few times. It hurts to see them upset or hurting but, I also know that, in order to heal, they have to deal with the pain. Accept it for what it is and keep going. The big problem is that too many times, people would rather stay in the pain (especially if they've experienced it for soo long) because they've become numb to it, than getting up the courage to forge ahead.
New Year's Eve was an exciting day for me in many aspects and I can only hope that I have many more exciting New Year's ahead for me and the kids. For the time being, it's back to basic's and taking care of me (and learning along the way) and the children.
J's birthday was bitter sweet in that it was another realization that another year had passed of missed opportunities for J and R. Another year gone that they've missed of being around a real man and leader. I also realized that I can't really be a father and mother to them. I can only be me and a mom. They will only be able to learn (for now I hope) from a distance and from watching the men at church and how they act and behave.
R has done pretty well this year... At least until this last Saturday. She had a melt down of sorts and cried hard. Asking the same questions of why Donovan wasn't coming back. If we could go to heave and get him back and just repeating over and over that she wanted him back. She knows that he wouldn't be able to be the same dad that she remembers if he did survive. She said that she didn't want him to stay alive in a hospital or unable to play like he would have. She also said that "when I get old, I'll obey God so that way I can go to heaven and see Daddy." Then it was off to play and a good night's sleep. I still have a lot to learn from her. I was still heavy-hearted after that talk. I felt a little happy about her ability to understand more but I wish I didn't have to sit there, rocking a little body sobbing from tears. That part kills me but, it's something that she has to walk through on her own. I can only empathize and try to help her understand things that we mere humans can grasp.
Meantime, J is blissfully unaware of such things. He as busy trying to climb on top of us in giving his sister some much needed hugs. Part of me was chuckling at him and hurting for her.... Talk about polar opposites! I know that I will be having the same type of talks with him when he is older (and hopefully he'll be at an age to grasp things).
On a completely different topic.... I did read "Eat, Pray, Love" and made lots of notes so, I will be trying to write my two cents on that book (but probably from a different view than the original writer).
More to follow.... :)
Ok... In a nutshell. Christmas this year (for me anyway) was a lot easier to deal with. Yes, it was still painful but I didn't cry much this time. K and G still had a hard time. As usual, G had her "mask" on but K had to wipe tears from his eyes a few times. It hurts to see them upset or hurting but, I also know that, in order to heal, they have to deal with the pain. Accept it for what it is and keep going. The big problem is that too many times, people would rather stay in the pain (especially if they've experienced it for soo long) because they've become numb to it, than getting up the courage to forge ahead.
New Year's Eve was an exciting day for me in many aspects and I can only hope that I have many more exciting New Year's ahead for me and the kids. For the time being, it's back to basic's and taking care of me (and learning along the way) and the children.
J's birthday was bitter sweet in that it was another realization that another year had passed of missed opportunities for J and R. Another year gone that they've missed of being around a real man and leader. I also realized that I can't really be a father and mother to them. I can only be me and a mom. They will only be able to learn (for now I hope) from a distance and from watching the men at church and how they act and behave.
R has done pretty well this year... At least until this last Saturday. She had a melt down of sorts and cried hard. Asking the same questions of why Donovan wasn't coming back. If we could go to heave and get him back and just repeating over and over that she wanted him back. She knows that he wouldn't be able to be the same dad that she remembers if he did survive. She said that she didn't want him to stay alive in a hospital or unable to play like he would have. She also said that "when I get old, I'll obey God so that way I can go to heaven and see Daddy." Then it was off to play and a good night's sleep. I still have a lot to learn from her. I was still heavy-hearted after that talk. I felt a little happy about her ability to understand more but I wish I didn't have to sit there, rocking a little body sobbing from tears. That part kills me but, it's something that she has to walk through on her own. I can only empathize and try to help her understand things that we mere humans can grasp.
Meantime, J is blissfully unaware of such things. He as busy trying to climb on top of us in giving his sister some much needed hugs. Part of me was chuckling at him and hurting for her.... Talk about polar opposites! I know that I will be having the same type of talks with him when he is older (and hopefully he'll be at an age to grasp things).
On a completely different topic.... I did read "Eat, Pray, Love" and made lots of notes so, I will be trying to write my two cents on that book (but probably from a different view than the original writer).
More to follow.... :)
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Book thoughts
A good friend of mine on FB suggested that I read "Eat, Pray, Love". I finally (after a couple of months or so) finished the book and while I enjoyed reading it (and especially her honesty), I know I will probably never watch the movie (no offense Julia Roberts) largely because of the language (which is something that I can't tolerate very well).
I did however highlight things that she said that really hit home for me. In many ways, I could totally relate to the writer. So, I will be doing some writing about that as time goes on...
More to follow.....
I did however highlight things that she said that really hit home for me. In many ways, I could totally relate to the writer. So, I will be doing some writing about that as time goes on...
More to follow.....
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