The records

Over the past few weeks, Jeff has started cataloging Donovan's records that I held back. Jeff has been wanting to go thru them and see exactly what we have but, it's kinda hard to do when there's about 2 or 3,000 of them and most are not in alphabetical order. So, Jeff has now gone thru two boxes and put all of the info into a database that he will be using later when we get some shelves up for the records. Donovan was a "makes-no-sense" kind of collector. He and his dad would look through record bins at different thrift stores or, I would find something that I thought he might find interesting at estate sales in the DFW area. Mostly, Donovan went for 70's and 80's type of music and then throw some jazz, classical, and anything else. Luckily, Jeff has found some records that he initially took with him to boot camp (but didn't walk out with them) and then some that he just liked the sound. It's kinda nice hearing the music again but, it's different. Neither one of the guys listened to the same type of music so, we'll see what's left standing when Jeff gets through it all (and that will take a while). The kids seem to enjoy hearing the records as well (especially when Jeff throws in a black light and a lava lamp). R REALLY enjoys that aspect and isn't upset when somethings playing. Not sure if it's just because of the effects of the room or that she hasn't recognized anything that's been played yet. She just happy to have some music appreciation time with her daddy. It seems that every week, she's opening up more to Jeff. There have been some times that she just wants to cuddle on his lap and not share with J (even though he won't let that rest until he has his spot on Jeff's lap). Makes me smile. More to follow........

Father's Day weekend/week

A few days before Father's Day, Jeff and I decided to go to Garland, Tx and spend Father's day/K's B-day with them. As a result, it ended up being much more than just a trip to see family. We left home on Friday and got in rather late Thursday night. I also found out that one of my dear friends (who was facing her 2nd round of chemotherapy) was having a "wig party" on Saturday night and if we could come.... Only stipulation was that everyone HAD to wear a wig. Babysitters/food provided. So, (with G's help) we managed to find some hair pieces for Jeff and I (and yes, I have pic's). Got there kinda late due to Jeff having stomach issues (that had developed on Thursday on the way down) and J managing to get a nice cut on his chin from hitting the kitchen table (little 3 yr old boys... 'nuff said). Vince and Jerra have set a HUGE example for me in many aspects. They agreed to both shave their heads to 3" of hair. The reason, I learned later was that, if you are taking chemo and completely shave your head before your hair starts falling out, the hair follicles don't like it and cause the muscles in your head to hurt (A LOT). Jerra is a fun-loving lady who has tried to see the positive aspect of facing breast cancer. They have 3 adopted children (who are originally from Russia - the two youngest - sisters - they adopted a year ago) and have gone thru a lot of hurdles to help their children.... Such an inspiration! Anywho, Vince got his head shaved first and their son didn't handle that transition very well but, thankfully they have a little pool in the back yard that the kids were taking full advantage of. Jerra went next and it took a little longer because they had to cut her hair first before shaving it down. She looked like Demi Moore from GI Jane! Beautiful! It was sooo good to see so many of my friends that had rallied around me after Donovan died now, rallying around Jerra! When I first learned that Jerra had breast cancer, I bawled so, I wasn't sure if I would cry when she got her hair shaved or not but, everyone kept the atmosphere in a good mode and that makes all the difference sometimes. :) The rest of the time that we were in Garland was pretty much spent with K and G. K and G's mom (Margie) have their birthday's pretty close so the kids went to celebrate (K and Margie) birthday at the nursing home that Margie is at. Good times! G also took the kids to the science museum and Jeff and I were able to have some "Us" time for a change.... Soooo nice to find a book store/Starbucks and just slow down a bit. On Sunday, it was good to see everyone at Centerville Road C of C and how people reacted to how much the kids have grown and changed (especially R who- as the Bible school teacher put it - is blossoming). We've noticed some small changes with R in that she's opening up more with Jeff and not constantly running to me for answers/questions... Etc. One thing that I noticed on this trip was that she was more on edge when we were over at K and G's house. She seemed relaxed elsewhere but not at their house. Not sure if it's because she sees the same pictures of Donovan everywhere (they haven't changed anything as far as pictures goes since he died) or if she doesn't quite know how to act around them. Ideas??? One thing for sure was that she was much more relaxed and at peace when we got back home and that makes all the difference to me. She doesn't feel under stress at home which is as it should be. The kids also did a hand-printed shirt for Jeff for Father's day. On it, it says, To the best Dad... Hands down. Brilliant me didn't realize that the kid's hand prints wouldn't be dried before going to Tx. So, we did the hand prints on Thursday evening while Jeff was ministering at the prison. I let the kids stay up extra late so that they could show it to him when he got home.... Reaction, priceless! The kids were sooo excited about their handiwork and being able to give something to their dad.... :) More to follow.......

Another loss

The above pictures were taken on Aug. 16th, 2001.... The day Donovan and I got married. The lady is Marcelline Buchanan who passed on to heaven yesterday. She was a wonderful christian lady who was a "Mom" to my dad and a "Grandmother" to me. She taught me so much and also taught me how to drive. She spoiled me as anything grandmother would (except that we weren't blood related). When we were living in Lamesa, Tx. She was my dad's secretary and didn't know how to use the computer (she was in her late 70's I think at the time) but Dad taught her how to use the computer. She was there for my wedding to Donovan and was able to meet R less than a month after she was born. Sadly, about 5 or 6 years ago, she started down the road of Alzheimer's. During the last few years, she didn't know who anyone was. I had often debated on whether to go down and see her but, I'm glad I have these good memories instead. In the first picture, there is also a man named Everett who was K's dad and passed on to heaven about a year ago (either this month or next). Yet another reminder of how brief life really is. Everett and Marcelline were in their late 90's but Donovan was only 35. Death does not respect people.... regardless of age. Disease doesn't either. I am thankful that, for the first time in 3 1/2 years, I was able to look at my wedding pictures of Donovan and my wedding and not break down to uncontrollable tears. It actually felt good to show those pictures to Jeff. He was with me when I got the call from G about Everett's passing and he's here again when I got the news about Marcelline. I've been soo blessed! More to follow.....

I know that I'm jumping forward from Spring Break but, this is HUGE to me. Ever since the day Donovan died, R hasn't prayed like she used to. You know, the child like innocence of thanking God for EVERYTHING from the people in your life to the light fixtures in the room to the bed you slept on. She used to rattle off a long list of things that she was thankful for every night.... Before Donovan died on her 5th birthday. Now, she still doesn't realize the date and I pray that she won't ask about the date until she's much older and lots more mature to handle that kind of information. She has told Jeff that she loved him..... He tells her he "loves my princess" every night before bed but she just kinda hugs him back and tells him good night. Other times, she won't hesitate with the "I love you too" bit... It comes and goes in waves but she's getting there. She has come a long way tho.... Thanks to constant love from us and help from her friends at school and teachers, she doesn't stutter like she used to (only when she gets really excited or upset about something) but not every time she tries to say something. She's happy and she laughs more (thanks to Daddy for that). For the past 3 1/2 years, she hasn't prayed on her own. She did do that once when J started wanting to give thanks before we eat but then she would politely say no if asked again. Tonight was a big on in my eyes and she used some of Jeff's words that he uses for giving thanks before meals (and then she asked what those words meant). It's like a light is slowly going off for her and she's getting her little sparkle back in her eyes. I know that there are going to be some tough bridges to cross down the road with her (as with J). As she grows and matures and the questions may be difficult, I know that with God's help, constant love and support from us, her family, and friends, they'll both make it. One day at a time. :) More to follow....

Spring Break

During Spring Break, we had a opportunity to go with K and G to San Antonio and visit Sea World, Natural Caverns, and a petting zoo of sorts. It was a long drive for us but a lot of fun. We were able to get to Dallas on a Saturday and visit with my old home congregation on Sunday (HUGE blessing). On Monday, we all went down to San Antonio. K and G drove in their SUV with the kids and Jeff and I drove in another car (thankful I was able to get some rest in the back seat on the way down). K and G also surprised us by volunteering to have the kids sleep in their room so that we can have some peace supplied by a certain 3 yr old who fights sleep) at night and not get woken up at the crack of dawn by a certain 8 yr old... Bliss! Tuesday, we went to the caverns and the petting zoo. The caverns were really neat and the kids thought everything was pretty neat. J was a bit more interested in the guides flashlight and microphone (I have no idea why! Ha!). The petting zoo was a drive thru kind of set up. The animals would be able to come up to the cars and be fed corn. The kids had a blast feeding the animals and seeing some of them up close. We tried to eat supper at the Rain Forest Cafe. Unfortunately, the mechanical animals scared J tooo much (he was literally climbing out of the seat once a "storm" hit and the all the animals started moving. The Hard Rock Cafe was better. J REALLY liked the (as he put it) Biggie Guitar. There was a white one that he wanted (which cost more than $200)... Oi! We also went on the riverwalk and took a boat ride which gave us a really neat history lesson of San Antonio (and J was working on his mac daddy personality on the guide - Hilarious!). On Wednesday, we went to Sea World. Saw a lot of neat shows and the kids ended it by playing in the HUGE play area. R couldn't wait to get soaked in the splash park while J was perfectly content to play in the smaller kids area (which had a steering wheel with mechanical parts = fascination for a 3 yr old boy). Thursday, we headed back to Dallas and then back home on Friday. Needless to say, the kids were good and worn out by the time we got home. R is already wanting to go back. :)

Birthdays!!!!

Jeff and J both had birthdays in Feb. Jeff's was on the 1st and J's was on the 5th. Although I felt pretty miserable from "morning sickness" which I had pretty much 24/7, it was still a good time and we celebrated simply. I was still on a diet of (primary) Sprite and crackers but we did have a cake (Thanks to Walmart!). The last 2 years, J's birthday was always one filled with sadness, regret, and playing the "what-if" game (which never helps!). Thankfully, this year was different. Granted, I still thought of Donovan and how proud he would have been of J and how much he's grown in such a short time. J is full of mischief, life and energy. He has a twinkle in his eyes that I wish R had more of but, she's slowly getting it back. More to follow.....

Getting caught up.... Once again!

Just now looked at what I've written up to now and realizing that I am WAY behind! There are SO many things that I need to get out and just haven't had the time or the energy to do so.... (aggravating is an understatement). So, I will try my best to get caught up over the next few days or so (I hope)......