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Tuesday, October 18, 2011

The sweater

Last night, Jeff got all of his winter cloths from storage and brought them home (since the high today is 58 degrees). He brought out three really heavy sweaters. One of them looked just like a sweater that Donovan wore when it got really cold. I couldn't say much at first because the reaction to a sweater caught me by surprise.

After we got the kids down for the night (about 30 min later), I told Jeff about the sweater and the tears came. In my mind, I could still "see" Donovan throwing snowballs at me in that sweater. Jeff's instant reaction was priceless (and one of the reasons I love him so much). He said "Guess I won't be wearing this sweater again". My reaction was that this was something that I was going to have to work through and deal with. Jeff (in essence) disagreed. Won't be seeing that sweater again.

I have moved forward with the life I've been given and so blessed to have Jeff a part of that life and thankful that he understands that Donovan has a special place. Thankful to God for the life that I have been given.

More to follow.....

Monday, October 17, 2011

Getting adjusted

Marriage in and of itself is always an adjustment (at whatever stage you are in your life). Ours is no different. :)

For the first couple of weeks, it was a major adjustment getting used to sleeping next to someone who wasn't 7 years old and didn't kick... Which was a very nice change by the way but the downside was that Jeff had to be up at 4AM (Monday - Thursday) and work 10 hour shifts. Not only was this a bit tough for Jeff and I but it was also difficult for R and J. Both of them were still unsettled from being moved to a new house, new school, new state, etc... and then having to get used to seeing someone (other than myself) every day and confused because he wasn't always there first thing in the morning.

That all changed two weeks ago. Up to that point, we had talked and prayed about Jeff eventually going full time in working with the jail and prison ministry. Initially, we thought that Jeff could still work at Road Systems and on the weekends, we could go out and raise some more support so that he could get away from Road Systems altogether. One Sunday morning, we got a rude awaking. Jeff couldn't be up for any longer than a few minutes. His back had finally given out form all the stress and strain of using jack hammers, and other heavy equipment in restoring trailer beds for 18 wheeler trucks. The doctors orders were simple. No going back into the trailers. What's kinda funny is that Jeff had put in his two week notice the Thursday before his back went out. All I can say is God can definitely have a way of letting you know what the right course of action should be sometimes.

Now, (besides going to the MD every week and sometimes several days a week) things are much calmer. Alarm goes off at 6:30 (R is usually up by then), J wakes up (sometimes around 7, sometimes earlier) and we have breakfast. R is more settled and doesn't ask for me to stay with her before she falls asleep anymore. J is at the age of challenging where his boundaries are and has learned very quickly not to mess around with Daddy. One look from Jeff and J scrambles back to what (or where) he's supposed to be. He's also latched on to Jeff more in the last couple of days than previously. He wants Daddy to play or just to give Jeff a hug. Of course, Jeff's being home more has helped me a lot as well. It's given us more time together (not only as a couple but as a family). My hat goes off to those how are a one parent family. It's very difficult to try and raise children with just your own set of eyes, ears, and hands. It's much easier when there's two and you work as a team (and the kids know it!).

So blessed!

More to follow....

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

The wedding!

Moving from TX to AR - expensive. Moving into a rental home - a weeks worth of very little sleep. Getting married to a wonderful Christian man - priceless!

From the day that we had decided to move the wedding up to Sept. 10th to our actual wedding day, gave me about 2 weeks to get everything done. Was I in a panic? Not a chance! Why? Because Jeff did just about everything (including setting up the tables and chairs for the meal before the ceremony). My job was to get the food coordinated, get the kids taken care of, and get whatever needed to be done, done. Simple!

Jeff's roommate decided to grill some tri tips, people signed up to be side dishes and we even got an oriental plate of meat and deserts. The whole meal in and of itself went very well. Everyone got as much food as they could handle and the gathering was small (which is exactly what Jeff and I wanted).

The ceremony itself was very special (even it it was mostly a blur) and I think it may have brought a few tears to those who were there. The reception (which is going to be on the 15th of this month) is going to be great and special as well.

I am so thankful to Jeff in everything that he does (and did) for me and for the children. There are two things that stand out on our day. One was that K and G drove up from Garland and kept the kids that night (even if they didn't get much sleep). BIG kudos's for that! Also that as soon as the preacher had introduced us as husband and wife, James ran straight to Jeff yelling "Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!" James may be only two but, he's a smart cookie. He understood what was going on. Especially considering that he had never had a reason to say the word Daddy up to that point.


More to follow......

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Decisions, heartache, and renewal

Every relationship has hurdles to get over and ours was no different. Initially, Jeff and I had agreed to maybe get married in October (which is now the date that our reception is *and everyone is welcome to as well*) but that all changed due to one of Jeff's "friends".

This "friend" was concerned for Jeff and he thought he was "saving" Jeff from (or even me) from rushing our relationship. The "friend" said some biting/attacking remarks to Jeff's roommate who then told Jeff. Needless to say, Jeff was furious and torn up about the whole thing. What hurt me (besides the fact that the "friend" attacked me and my family) the most was that it was tearing Jeff up and what hurt him, hurt me. You know how you don't get inbetween a momma bear and her cub. Well, anyone who messes with either one of us is bound to get retaliation from the other.

We knew we wanted a small, simple wedding and we also realized that it was getting more difficult for both of us to be apart when living in the same town (and literally down the road from each other). It was also a bit unsettling for the children because they were both asking where Jeff was every morning. So we decided to move the wedding up to Sept 10th and had a potluck dinner before the ceremony.

The "friend" was at the wedding and he tried to smooth things over with Jeff so all is well. Granted, he will talk to Jeff (or even the kids) at the church building but never say anything to me. But, that's ok. I don't have any hard feeling towards him and I know God will take care of everything in His time and in His own way. The important thing is that we are now a family and getting adjusted to that. In many ways, the "friend" helped us more than anything in that our love and appreciation for the other is even stronger than it was when we were dating. :)

I know that challenges will come up down the road but, I also know that our love and commitment to each other is strong and that our love for God and his will can get us through anything.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

The move!

The last solid posting that I have on here talked about getting a house for the children and I to move into here in Searcy. Now to fill in the gaps of that move.

There is a saying that a man will do whatever it takes to be with the woman he loves and Jeff proved that in just getting us here!

We managed to find a rental house to move into (and in a college town, that is NO easy feat!). I got the kids back to Garland late on Monday Aug.1st. Had two days to load up dishes and bedding before heading back up to Searcy on the 4th. Needless to say, all the traveling was starting to take a toll on R and J (especially J who doesn't travel very well). Got to hear Jeff and First Day sing in Mountain Home (which is a two hour drive from Searcy) on the 7th and then head back to TX and start boxing everything I could on the 8th - 14th.

Jeff drove down on the 13th to help box and then load the truck up (which was the biggest we could get and we still couldn't get everything in). The 13th ended up being a very, very long day for Jeff and I and we couldn't have gotten half of everything done without the help of K and G (who took the kids) and Steve and Jackie Meadows. Jeff finally closed the door on the truck at 3:30 AM on the 14th and we took some time to go over to K and G's house, Jeff got to shower and we both got something to eat. Both of the kids were also up (they may have cat-napped for a bit) at 4AM and then we headed out of TX and to our "new" home (at least for me, R, and J).

Jeff drove the truck ahead of me and I drove my car (kids in tow) and loaded down in the back for the 6 hr drive. I'm thankful neither one of the kids were very fussy but it was very difficult for me (and I'm sure for Jeff as well). It's one thing to pull an all-nighter when you're in college. It's something completely different when you are much older. I finally had to call Jeff and ask him to pull over somewhere before I either hit a guardrail or someone else in route. Jeff found a big empty parking lot and I took a 20 min. nap in the cab of the UHaul while Jeff played with the children. After the nap, I was good to go. Jeff never rested.

We managed to get to the house late in the evening on Saturday and then the kids and I crashed (J in a pack-n-play and R and I on inflatable beds). Started unloading the truck sometime Sunday afternoon and got the beds up. Jeff has to go over to the prison every Sunday night so that the inmates can have a service and Bible study (which is open to everyone) and then have to turn around and get up at 4AM to to go work (for 10 hours) on Monday. Needless to say, we had the truck all week because of time constraints on Jeff and my lack of ability to lift heavy boxes but, we finally got the truck turned in and (thanks to a good friend) the trailer for Jeff's car turned in much earlier.

I am soo thankful for Jeff's willingness to do whatever it took to get us to our new home (and everything he continues to do even now for the betterment of the family).

More to follow.....

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Getting caught up (again).

Greetings from the land of AR! I haven't been in front of a computer for almost 2 months (and yes I'm still breathing) but, A LOT has happened since then.

I've had a lot of event's, turmoil, and thoughts going through my head and about to go nuts if I didn't get it all down somehow so, please bear with me over the next couple of days as I slowly get all of this stuff out.

For the moment, I am one tired momma. J was up TWICE last night so sleep has become mandatory (and for those of you that are parents, you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about). Until then, prayers are that everyone has a great rest of your night.

More to follow....

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

And the "fun" begins!

This last weekend, the children and I went back up to Searcy and, as you could probably guess, it was very, very busy...

Arrival time: Thursday evening.... Had enough time to have some dinner with Jeff, get the car unloaded and kids bathed and ready for an early bed time.

Friday morning started off with looking at two houses to rent and move into asap (one of which we now have a lease on.... Yippie!). Also started the pre-marital counseling sessions with a great guy (Sam) and meeting up with an old friend from Freed (and thank you Jenni for taking the kids for a while so we can get some stuff and "us" time in as well). Sam also suggested that Jeff and I read Stinnett's and Beam's book of "Fantastic Families: 6 proven steps to building a strong family. We managed to find one a local book shop (and some great coffee to boot!) but I still have to get one. Next session will be this coming weekend so, guess who's going to be on the road again (hint: It's NOT Jeff). R and J also had fun.... Jenni has a 3 yr old and a 14 month old daughters and they got to make cupcakes (talk about an ecstatic R!) I've also learned that Jeff knows A LOT of people. Almost everywhere we go, he runs into someone that he's good friends with. He even had one guy yelling at him to call him across a parking lot... (learned later it was a friend from church and we got invited out to lunch after services Sunday morning).

Saturday we just took it easy. The kids and I took at whopping 5 hour nap in the afternoon (shock!) We've also learned that J like to instigate games with his sister. Case in point: J grabbing R's favorite blanket (which she sleeps with nightly - and very special because it has Donovan's old blanket sewn in as a filling to the outer shell) and proclaiming "My blanky!". This promotes R to have a mock tug-of-war to keep said "blanky" from little bro (and lots of laughs from both in the process).

Sunday was started off with services in the morning then bible class (which is always full of discussion). Then off to lunch at a friend's house. The couple have 3 boys plus two more boys from Indonesia who will be staying with them through the school year (how Michelle does it? Hats off!). We also went and looked at one more house (which unfortunately was overrun by baby cockroaches - shudder!). Needless to say, the kids had a blast and have no trouble eating homemade spaghetti at their own table (kuddo's to J for staying put and eating a plate full plus some extra on the shirt). Then straight to worship and singing night. This, of course, was J's favorite. He had his songbook out and singing at the top of his lungs (even in-between those leading the singing). Needless to say, I didn't have any problem getting the kids down for the night.... A great day!

Monday morning was busy as well. Meet with the landlord and now we have a home to start moving into (joy!). So now the fun part begins of starting to move things from TX to AR. The only concern R had was that Chloe was coming too (and everything in her room of course). She asked me later if she could just stay somewhere while I go back and forth over the next several weeks. Granted, it's going to be tough (moving never is easy) but, Lord willing, we'll be a complete family by Sept.

More to follow....

Sunday