This last weekend was a bit of an emotional roller coaster for me. While it was wonderful to have Jeff back in town, it was also a bit tough.
Friday, in and of itself was great just to kinda relax. R even got to help make (from scratch) some chocolate icing for a chocolate bunt cake that we made (also from scratch) on Saturday.
Saturday was the challenge. I had known for quite a while that I wanted to show Jeff where Donovan was buried. Initially, I had wanted to take him and it just be the two of us but that's kinda hard to do when I have the children 24/7.
I had asked R if she wanted to go and see where Daddy was buried and if it would be ok for Jeff to see (which she agreed to). We took the kids to a splash park and they had a blast. On the way back, I asked R again if it would be ok to go and see where Donovan was buried and this time she said no. I asked her if it would be ok for Jeff and I to go and she could stay in the car (running of course) with J. She was ok with that.
Both of the kids had crashed in their seats when we got to the cemetery so we got out and let them sleep with air conditioning. As soon as I stepped onto the grass, the tears came. I was not expecting this! I knew that there would probably be times down the road that I would miss Donovan and I also knew (as Jeff did) that I wasn't looking for someone to "fill" Donovan's shoes (so to speak). In many ways, Jeff has already meant so much to me and the children. We stood by Donovan's grave and it felt like he had died eons ago, rather than in Dec. '08. I also showed Jeff a grave marker that was done about a week or so after Donovan had died. It is a burial plot for a whole family who (I'm guessing) were killed in a car wreck. A mother, father, and two children.... Gone in an instant. Each time that I had gone to Donovan's grave, I would see that marker and be reminded of how blessed and thankful I should be. I lost my husband at a very difficult time but I know where he is now. Another family lost much more and who knows about eternity.
One we got back to the house, I had a lot of heaviness but I also had someone to hold on to and cry with and a God who helps more than (many times) we give Him credit for. After a while, the heaviness left and we were able to make an awesome supper and a nice chocolate bunt cake (which R and a neighbor hood friend got a sugar rush from) so the day ended well.
It was also great just to sit next to Jeff during worship. Sometimes, you forget how good you had it or how much little things mean until you suddenly don't have that anymore. Yes, it's challenge to try and keep a certain 2 yr old from talking (or singing) at the most inopportune moments (which little ones seem to capitalize on) but it's soo important to have someone that prays with you, sings with you and studies God's word with you during worship. Thank you for being the man you are Jeff!
More to follow....
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Monday, July 11, 2011
The trip up to Searcy...
This last weekend, the children and I went to Searcy to spend some time with Jeff Henig.
We left on Thursday morning/afternoon and drove about 5 1/2 hours up. I had made a reservation through a discount site and got a good deal on a room only to be very disappointed upon arrival. Much to my amazement, the motel staff had no clue that we were going to be checking in that day. All the rooms were for smoking, and the pool that they had wasn't working.
The pool aspect was a disappointment in that I used that swimming experience in order to get the kids good and tired so that they would both go down for a nap in the afternoons and also just before night-night time (which works great by the way).
In all my "wisdom" I asked Jeff (since he was about to leave his house) if he had a few candles to burn in the room to knock the smell of smoking out (and please, don't get offended about this if you do smoke). The room we were given was in the back of the building (which didn't look like a very safe place to be) and as soon as I walked into the room, I almost gagged. The room reeked of cigarette smoke (imagine someone sitting around and puffing around 9 packs a day kinda smell). Not a very healthy place for a 2 yr old and a 7 yr old to be sleeping in (not to mention a very tired momma).
Thankfully, there was another motel chain right across the street (I hadn't bothered turning the car off and letting the kids out before hand and I'm glad I did) so, I checked to see if they had a room available (all while fighting back tears of tiredness and frustration). While I was in the process of finding out if there was a room available, Jeff came in with a calm (but kinda concerned) look on his face. Talk about a calm in the storm! He was that for me! Managed to get a room and then had to go back to the other place and try to cancel that reservation (which I had to call another office since this particular one didn't have a clue that I even existed) and then unload children and stuff in the nice, neat, clean room. Needless to say, I won't be looking to book at the America's Best Value Inn and Suites ever again! I also learned that the motel that we stayed out often gets customers from the said Inn quite often.... *huge note of sarcasm* I wonder why??
After all that, we managed to just hang out and relax a bit on Friday (and meet some new friends who also happened to have a 4 month old baby girl - R was delighted with this) and then have a cookout on Saturday.
Sunday morning was a TOTALLY different ball game. Jeff was to preach for a small congregation in a town not very far from Bald Knob (and no, I don't know the town... Only that it's among some very winding roads with an occasional gravel road). He said that we had to be on the road by 8am... Sharp! No problem there (wonders of wonders). We actually got there a full hour BEFORE Bible Class was supposed to start so me (in all my "wisdom" once again), suggested we may want to ride around a bit instead of either having two very hot and sweaty children (if they got out) or cranky (for having to sit in a car for an hour). This idea was all well, fine and good.... Until we started heading back to the church building. Long story short, we made a few wrong turns and ended up being about 20 or 30 minutes late for Bible class (which Jeff was teaching). Needless to say, we both learned a few things that morning... One, Jeff is not allowed to trust his own memory on winding *sometimes graveled* roads and two, not to get tooo flustered about being stuck behind "Sunday drivers" on said roads when you are running late. Thankfully, the members didn't seem to mind to much and had a chance to give Jeff a hard time later (all in good humor I might add).
So, even though the weekend started off a bit disappointing and hectic, it ended on a good note (with lots of laughs and lessons along the way). Coulda, woulda, shoulda can't change the present so why get your feathers all in a ruffle (which Jeff didn't by the way)? All any of us can do is make the best of things, apologize when we need too and learn to do better for the next time we have a "coulda" moment.
More to follow....
We left on Thursday morning/afternoon and drove about 5 1/2 hours up. I had made a reservation through a discount site and got a good deal on a room only to be very disappointed upon arrival. Much to my amazement, the motel staff had no clue that we were going to be checking in that day. All the rooms were for smoking, and the pool that they had wasn't working.
The pool aspect was a disappointment in that I used that swimming experience in order to get the kids good and tired so that they would both go down for a nap in the afternoons and also just before night-night time (which works great by the way).
In all my "wisdom" I asked Jeff (since he was about to leave his house) if he had a few candles to burn in the room to knock the smell of smoking out (and please, don't get offended about this if you do smoke). The room we were given was in the back of the building (which didn't look like a very safe place to be) and as soon as I walked into the room, I almost gagged. The room reeked of cigarette smoke (imagine someone sitting around and puffing around 9 packs a day kinda smell). Not a very healthy place for a 2 yr old and a 7 yr old to be sleeping in (not to mention a very tired momma).
Thankfully, there was another motel chain right across the street (I hadn't bothered turning the car off and letting the kids out before hand and I'm glad I did) so, I checked to see if they had a room available (all while fighting back tears of tiredness and frustration). While I was in the process of finding out if there was a room available, Jeff came in with a calm (but kinda concerned) look on his face. Talk about a calm in the storm! He was that for me! Managed to get a room and then had to go back to the other place and try to cancel that reservation (which I had to call another office since this particular one didn't have a clue that I even existed) and then unload children and stuff in the nice, neat, clean room. Needless to say, I won't be looking to book at the America's Best Value Inn and Suites ever again! I also learned that the motel that we stayed out often gets customers from the said Inn quite often.... *huge note of sarcasm* I wonder why??
After all that, we managed to just hang out and relax a bit on Friday (and meet some new friends who also happened to have a 4 month old baby girl - R was delighted with this) and then have a cookout on Saturday.
Sunday morning was a TOTALLY different ball game. Jeff was to preach for a small congregation in a town not very far from Bald Knob (and no, I don't know the town... Only that it's among some very winding roads with an occasional gravel road). He said that we had to be on the road by 8am... Sharp! No problem there (wonders of wonders). We actually got there a full hour BEFORE Bible Class was supposed to start so me (in all my "wisdom" once again), suggested we may want to ride around a bit instead of either having two very hot and sweaty children (if they got out) or cranky (for having to sit in a car for an hour). This idea was all well, fine and good.... Until we started heading back to the church building. Long story short, we made a few wrong turns and ended up being about 20 or 30 minutes late for Bible class (which Jeff was teaching). Needless to say, we both learned a few things that morning... One, Jeff is not allowed to trust his own memory on winding *sometimes graveled* roads and two, not to get tooo flustered about being stuck behind "Sunday drivers" on said roads when you are running late. Thankfully, the members didn't seem to mind to much and had a chance to give Jeff a hard time later (all in good humor I might add).
So, even though the weekend started off a bit disappointing and hectic, it ended on a good note (with lots of laughs and lessons along the way). Coulda, woulda, shoulda can't change the present so why get your feathers all in a ruffle (which Jeff didn't by the way)? All any of us can do is make the best of things, apologize when we need too and learn to do better for the next time we have a "coulda" moment.
More to follow....
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
July 4th weekend
Each weekend, especially lately, I look forward to because it also means spending time with Jeff and a chance for the rest of the family to get to know him a little bit better each time.
This last weekend was a memorable one for several different reasons. One was that I learned that he can REALLY cook! He fixed a kinda spaghetti casserole which had your typical (and not so typical) sauce but, instead of spaghetti noodles, we had shells instead.... YUMMY! We also had K and G over to help us eat it all (even though I still had two Tupperware containers full afterwards). We also got a very small (top of the table) grill so R and J REALLY enjoyed being able to "help" with that... Only downside was that we ran out of time in getting to make smores so, this coming weekend, maybe we can *praying that the chocolate doesn't melt on the drive up to Searcy*.
Drove over to the Gaylord Texan for the fireworks display (which was totally worth the drive over) and amazed that J stayed up the whole drive back!
On Tuesday, J decided to ring the holiday out the right way with his own little "confetti" celebration.... Complete with R's glitter (5 bottles to be exact) and a nice kitchen floor to dump it all out on himself and any surface available. Needless to say, I now have a sparkling floor from one end of the house to the other.... Nothing like celebrating the "correct" way.
Hope everyone had a fun and safe 4th!
More to follow.....
Monday, June 27, 2011
Another loss
This last Sunday afternoon, I got a phone call from K and G. They told me that Everett (Donovan's grandfather, Ken's dad) passed away in his sleep. He would have been turning 98 on July 10th.
Everett had had episodes before of falls/mentally unstable before and had always rebounded rather quickly. On the 19th, K had gotten a call from his sister that Everett had fallen but also had some blockage in his intestines which made the mental problems more pronounced. That Sunday night, K had kinda pulled me aside at church to see what I thought. He also told me that Everett had asked for him (Ken) *major red flag* but, the family went ahead with the plan to wait until Everett's b-day (when everyone was planing to go and see him anyway). The funeral will be tomorrow....
Sometimes, older folks will have some time (or moments) of crystal clarity in their thinking and make request. Case in point, when I was living in Knoxville, TN., I had the honor of working on a locked unit of a Geri/Psych ward. I wore many hats on that floor and one of them was for Social Worker Assistant and I did one-on-one time with patients who didn't go to group that day. It was kinda late in the day and I went to see a dear, sweet lady and see what she was thinking about. She looked at me with such clear eyes (not a dazed or confused or blank look) and asked me "Am I going to be getting any better?" I told her that she would probably be released to go back home either tomorrow or the next day. It all depended on how she did and what the Dr thought. She seemed happy about that and then got really sad and asked me "But I'm not going to be getting COMPLETELY better, am I?" All I could do was smile, give her little shoulder a rub and say "We'll see". She died in her sleep that night. Needless to say, the whole staff was shaken the next day.
Too many times, the older generation that lived through war, the depression, etc get overlooked and written off. Many times, all they want is compassion, empathy, and a little time to share their memories and knowledge. If you have grandparents/ parents who are suffering from any kind of mental/emotionally problems, please give them that little bit of time that they want and deserve because you may not have that time tomorrow.
More to follow....
Everett had had episodes before of falls/mentally unstable before and had always rebounded rather quickly. On the 19th, K had gotten a call from his sister that Everett had fallen but also had some blockage in his intestines which made the mental problems more pronounced. That Sunday night, K had kinda pulled me aside at church to see what I thought. He also told me that Everett had asked for him (Ken) *major red flag* but, the family went ahead with the plan to wait until Everett's b-day (when everyone was planing to go and see him anyway). The funeral will be tomorrow....
Sometimes, older folks will have some time (or moments) of crystal clarity in their thinking and make request. Case in point, when I was living in Knoxville, TN., I had the honor of working on a locked unit of a Geri/Psych ward. I wore many hats on that floor and one of them was for Social Worker Assistant and I did one-on-one time with patients who didn't go to group that day. It was kinda late in the day and I went to see a dear, sweet lady and see what she was thinking about. She looked at me with such clear eyes (not a dazed or confused or blank look) and asked me "Am I going to be getting any better?" I told her that she would probably be released to go back home either tomorrow or the next day. It all depended on how she did and what the Dr thought. She seemed happy about that and then got really sad and asked me "But I'm not going to be getting COMPLETELY better, am I?" All I could do was smile, give her little shoulder a rub and say "We'll see". She died in her sleep that night. Needless to say, the whole staff was shaken the next day.
Too many times, the older generation that lived through war, the depression, etc get overlooked and written off. Many times, all they want is compassion, empathy, and a little time to share their memories and knowledge. If you have grandparents/ parents who are suffering from any kind of mental/emotionally problems, please give them that little bit of time that they want and deserve because you may not have that time tomorrow.
More to follow....
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Another suprise
This last Sunday night, I got a pleasant surprise.
For the first time in 7 years, R got to spend the night with K and G! Over the last couple of years especially, R and I both have asked them if R could spend the night at the grandparents but were always given some sort of excuse. Needless to say, R was ecstatic!
It was a little weird not having her at home (even though she has spent the night at several friend's houses' the last few years) but, I was happy she finally got a chance. What's sad is the lost amount of time to get to this point with K and G! I guess it took a BIG wake up call for them to finally quite giving excuses and take advantage of the time that they have!
So, those of you who are grandparents (or have family members with children), please don't pass up amazing memories with children before it's almost too late!
More to follow....
For the first time in 7 years, R got to spend the night with K and G! Over the last couple of years especially, R and I both have asked them if R could spend the night at the grandparents but were always given some sort of excuse. Needless to say, R was ecstatic!
It was a little weird not having her at home (even though she has spent the night at several friend's houses' the last few years) but, I was happy she finally got a chance. What's sad is the lost amount of time to get to this point with K and G! I guess it took a BIG wake up call for them to finally quite giving excuses and take advantage of the time that they have!
So, those of you who are grandparents (or have family members with children), please don't pass up amazing memories with children before it's almost too late!
More to follow....
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Another status change
Over the past month or so, I had a friendship that took things to a whole
different level for me, R and J. All thanks to EHarmony. This last Wed.,
he decided to take things up a notch by making our relationship public on
facebook.
I had vaguely known Jeff back at Freed. He was graduating the year I
started at Freed as a Sophomore and was in the "rival chorus" on campus
(HUGE note of sarcasm here).
I had been a member of EHarmony since Jan of this year and had "talked" to a
few guys (after we went through the questionnaire thing). Jeff didn't even
bother with that stuff once he discovered that we both went to Freed
*thinking It's a small world theme song* and started off with a question to
verify that I had been there. Admittedly, I had to look him up in the year
book.... We discovered that we had a lot more similar interest that just
that we had been at the same college. He is into Jail/Prison ministry and
wants to do that full time (once he gets congregations to support him), he's
in a singing group and has about 30 or so concerts each year, and he works
full time for a company that refurbishes tractor trailers.
The kicker for me was an email that he sent which included these words...
"If I come down to see you" (and yes, he lives in Searcy). Just a side
note but, have you ever really understood how power a single word can be?
Just sayin'... :) Anywho, my only response was that one little powerful
word but with a question mark... "If??"
Needless to say, he has driven 5.5 hours down here to see me for the last 3
weekends and some of you got to see him (abet a bit briefly) this morning
before he had to head back to Searcy to preach at the Jail tonight.
More to follow....
different level for me, R and J. All thanks to EHarmony. This last Wed.,
he decided to take things up a notch by making our relationship public on
facebook.
I had vaguely known Jeff back at Freed. He was graduating the year I
started at Freed as a Sophomore and was in the "rival chorus" on campus
(HUGE note of sarcasm here).
I had been a member of EHarmony since Jan of this year and had "talked" to a
few guys (after we went through the questionnaire thing). Jeff didn't even
bother with that stuff once he discovered that we both went to Freed
*thinking It's a small world theme song* and started off with a question to
verify that I had been there. Admittedly, I had to look him up in the year
book.... We discovered that we had a lot more similar interest that just
that we had been at the same college. He is into Jail/Prison ministry and
wants to do that full time (once he gets congregations to support him), he's
in a singing group and has about 30 or so concerts each year, and he works
full time for a company that refurbishes tractor trailers.
The kicker for me was an email that he sent which included these words...
"If I come down to see you" (and yes, he lives in Searcy). Just a side
note but, have you ever really understood how power a single word can be?
Just sayin'... :) Anywho, my only response was that one little powerful
word but with a question mark... "If??"
Needless to say, he has driven 5.5 hours down here to see me for the last 3
weekends and some of you got to see him (abet a bit briefly) this morning
before he had to head back to Searcy to preach at the Jail tonight.
More to follow....
Monday, June 6, 2011
Another hurdle
Another hurdle has been cleared as of this last Saturday and no, this wasn't one that I had to clear.
Over the last two years, K and G didn't go on the Back to the Bible Campaign which is conducted by the Northwest congregation in Lawton, Ok. In '09, it was conducted in Lawton and I took the kids and went door knocking with everyone. Emotionally, it was very difficult. Not just for me but also for the people at Northwest.
K and G lived there for several years while Donovan was about Rebecca's age. So it was difficult for the Northwest folks as it had been for me. This year, the campaign is being done at Amarillo, Tx and K and G decided to go but it wasn't an easy decision. As K put it, "If G doesn't go this year, she probably won't ever go again". They're tie with Northwest is strong in that they had gone every year since Northwest started doing campaigns so, yes... This was HUGE for them.
They called me Saturday night (or rather G did) and she sounded a little tearful but happy at the same time. I was really close to going as well but, it was a HUGE blessing for me that I didn't... :)
More to follow....
Over the last two years, K and G didn't go on the Back to the Bible Campaign which is conducted by the Northwest congregation in Lawton, Ok. In '09, it was conducted in Lawton and I took the kids and went door knocking with everyone. Emotionally, it was very difficult. Not just for me but also for the people at Northwest.
K and G lived there for several years while Donovan was about Rebecca's age. So it was difficult for the Northwest folks as it had been for me. This year, the campaign is being done at Amarillo, Tx and K and G decided to go but it wasn't an easy decision. As K put it, "If G doesn't go this year, she probably won't ever go again". They're tie with Northwest is strong in that they had gone every year since Northwest started doing campaigns so, yes... This was HUGE for them.
They called me Saturday night (or rather G did) and she sounded a little tearful but happy at the same time. I was really close to going as well but, it was a HUGE blessing for me that I didn't... :)
More to follow....
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